I don't like the woman

I didn't like the woman way back when.

I didn't like the woman through the years.

So I haven't seen the woman for the last few years.

Two months ago, I heard she was diagnosed with advanced brain cancer, was being treated with chemotherapy and radiation, and was not expected to live beyond 15 months.

I felt badly for her. But I did nothing about trying to contact her - she lives and works out of the country, and comes back frequently on weekends.

She was back all last week, staying at a friend's home. Said friend called me to come over for dinner with the woman.

I told myself to be nice, hold my tongue, smile and nod in sympathy and agreement.

She is still ever the loud-mouthed shameless self-promoter I disliked from way back when. All night, I listened to the woman tell me how great a person she is - as a helpful friend, a hot lover, a doting mother, a filial daughter, a long-suffering wife (twice), an understanding ex-wife (twice), a dedicated employee, a pious person etc etc etc.

I held my tongue, I smiled and nodded in sympathy. I was nice.

At the end of the evening, I felt sad.

For her - because I'd like to think there are many people who really and truly like her, but I have serious doubts about that.

For myself - because I am probably seeing her for the last time. And I still do not like the woman.

I look forward to this

I still look forward to this.Not the factory sale, per se. I love Paul Ropp creations, but I have p-l-e-n-t-y Paul Ropp clothes in my closet; I still have several in their original wrapping. I have also not come back with big hauls the last few times. Maybe Paul Ropp's creative genius has taken off in a different direction and I am just too stubborn to go along.Yet, I still look forward to this.

It is an opportunity to see some dear friends who will never travel anywhere. It is also a walk down memory lane, back to youthful days of living and loving fearlessly. I still recall watching the stunning sunsets, as the lover and I talked of possibilities of being this happy forever, together.

Many wishes and dreams from those days have come to pass. The Bohemian spirit in me still awakes on that island. For as long as I still feel all this, I look forward to revisiting Bali. For the friends, the memories, the unbeaten free spirit.

Yes, I still look forward to this.

Night of Wine and Dine

Bottom left picture - from left:
Pathy (sommelier, Table@7)
Daniel Chathiard (owner, Chateau Smith Haut Lafitte)
Eugenia & Karl (owners, Table@7)
Clinton Ang (owner, Cornerstone Wines)

It is a stretch to find me at wine-pairing dinners. For the simple reason that I am allergic to alcohol.

But because it is the folks at Table@7 who asked.

And because we have fond memories of our dinner at the Chateau Smith-Haut Lafitte.

We went.

It was, of course, another thoroughly enjoyable evening at our favourite restaurant, with some of our favourite people in the F&B industry...

October

was the month
I took a short break, in of all places, China.

Specifically, Beijing and Harbin. More of that later.

I have also taken the time to sort out myself. Specifically, to sort out my relationship with various people.

Everyone out there is either (a) my-type-of-people and we get along famously from the first, or (b) not my-type-of-people, but having evolved into the "nice" person I want to be, I "find" reasons to accept these people.

Of the (b) category people, I now know in myself that it is a lost cause to make unacceptable people acceptable. So I leave them behind (figuratively and literally).

And that does not make me "un-nice".

Away

I have used the time to keep counsel with myself. I am taking longer than I planned to. But it was necessary, and it has been good.

Now I will be away for two weeks.

I will be ready to resume posting when I get back.

I am otherwise doing well, and have been busy with various friends and activities.

But more of everything later.

September

was the month
that the pieces finally fell in place. I can see and think clearly again.

I had an epiphany about people who can only be described as a**holes. Of these, there are family and non-family. Whereas I used to shun the family but did my best to accommodate the non-family ones, I have made an about-face turn. I will suffer and put up with the a**holes in the family; all others will have to find their own emotional punching bag.

To certain somebodies who recently blindsided me with "We don't understand, but we do not(will not?) ask", I have this to say: "Real friends do not question; real friends ask". And I did ask. I got an evasive non-answer. I do not question, but the ball is back in said somebodies' court.

I am glad the harsh Summer season is coming to an end.

I welcome the richer and more sophisticated season that is Fall.

Cabaret - the video

Here are the pictures.

Here is the video:



Thank you, photographer and videoman, for capturing the night.

I treasure the memory.

August

was the month

I would remember for two reasons.

The man turned 60. We gathered friends and family for his birthday dinner party. It was as much dinner as party, with a really class act put together with the dance friends. And I remember again what a beautiful gift a dance makes, for the giver and the recipient.

My parents are relentlessly toxic as parents, and as people. I grappled with my feelings about them, about my role as their daughter in May, June, July. Sometime this month, the decision was made for me by Mother. I am now out of the world of distrust, mistrust, disappointment, misunderstanding, delusion and mischief which the parents created and continue to live in. I remember again why I left them in the first place.

I have removed my earlier posts on Mother because I felt it was time I erased bad memories of bad parents. I find now that I was not wrong about them, so I will retrieve and re-post them. As well, I have no need to write in a closed blog. I stand by what I write.

I would pop that bottle of champagne if I could still drink. For I am, indeed, truly, back.

Mooncakes and more mooncakes

Mid-Autumn Festival. Zhongquijie. Lantern Festival. Mooncake Festival.By whatever name, I love everything associated with this seasonal festival - the celebrations, the myths, the mooncakes! Especially the mooncakes.

There is definitely no shortage of variety and versions here. Creativity and imagination run amok as restaurants, hotels and pastry chefs promote their idea of a new and improved mooncake with new and different flavours, fillings, textures, even shapes (!). Somehow, I think of these re-invented mooncakes as experiments. Oftentimes, quite horrific failed experiments even.

In the end, I really want my mooncake as I have always known it.

With the familiar baked skin complete with its imperfections because a pair of hands worked on it. With the smooth lotus paste filling, just this side of too oily and too sweet.

Rolled up in a stack of 4 on plain white paper contrasted against Chinese Red and Gold decorative prints. Or packed in no-frills boxes of 4. And all stacked into brown paper bags carrying the company name.

In my books, the three masters of old-school mooncakes are (listed in no particular order):

Tai Thong Cake Shop
35 Mosque Street
Tel: 6223 2905

Chinatown Tai Chong Kok Confectionery Hue Kee
122 bukit Merah Lane 1 *01-62 Alexandra Village
Tel: 6270 8994

Tai Chong Kok
34 Sago Street
Tel: 6227 5701

His BigSixOh

On the occasion of his bigsixoh, we threw the best birthday dinner party we knew how.

Not for this man the usual grim and glum food and drinks with the folks, young and old. And talk about the good old days.

Because the good days are not in the past. It is in the here and now.

And so, with the support and help of talented friends, we got ourselves a night of

*fine dining ( Table@7),
*great wines (private collectors),
*mesmerising bellydance (special appearance by G)
*dazzling burlesque-cabaret show (my fabulous showgirls),
*memorable keepsake of the night in pictures (amiphotography)
.
I'd like to think that the fun and friendship will last for a long time after the party is over.

I know I will remember all of you. Especially the friends who made it possible.

Cabaret Night at Table@7

The restaurant is new. The players are not. Their culinary expertise is firmly established but their gastronomic creations continue to surprise with new dimensions.

Table@ 7 opened to rave reviews in April, and its popularity continues to grow from strength to strength.

We've been to the restaurant too many times to count, with too many friends to mention. Each time, we come away happy.

So it went without saying that the man celebrated his special birthday dinner party at this special restaurant.
The restaurant worked closely with us in every way to make the party exactly as we wanted it.

We wanted cabaret. We got cabaret. Heh.

Table@7 is located at:
7 Mohamed Sultan Road,
S 238957
Tel: 68366362
Mobile: 8338 6362
website: tableat7.com

Now you see them, Now you don't

So "they" (mysterious powers that be) withdrew the video clips of bellydance performance I thought were wonderful and posted here. I get some mumbo jumbo reason as to why they are no longer available. So I searched again. And found these two clips, which I post here until "they" withdraw again for some other or maybe same mumbo jumbo reasons. Some bits in the videos cover the performances I thought were great. Of course, there are plenty I would have loved to share but are not in these clips. But there you are.

Fusion bellydance when it is good :)

Oops! The video clips have been withdrawn (August 4, 2011). I will repost if they show up again.

There were some happy and memorable moments during the Singapore Street Festival.

For fans of belly dance fusion, here are some of the really lovely performances:

1. Our very own Darren and Maia:


2. Another home team - Joey and the Jewelz:


3. The very impressive mother-and-daughters dance troupe from Vietnam


4. Bellydance-Indian fusion done right :)

July

was the month
I spent too much time thinking, just thinking, of ways to escape the clutches of wretched souls who seek to subsume the life I have made for myself. I was distracted, ineffective, unproductive. Unfinished business was starting to pile up.

Not anymore. I am myself again. I am back. Because
I accepted the fact that wretched people will always be with me. And so, having realised that they are a constant in my life, I can move on. So long as I never underestimate the ability of such wretched people to subsume me with their wretchedness, I will be alright.

I have not started to write in my closed blog. It isn't a pressing matter anymore. You will hear from me when I get it up and running; I have not forgotten you :)

For now, I am happy to know this: I am back.

The morning after

and I am still reeling from the upset win from last night's bellydance competition. (Click here for details.)

We just knew who the winners were. Too bad the judges didn't. And their decision sticks. Even when it sucks.

I retract my statement about Asia Global Bellydance being a respected competition. I think the quality of the judges is only marginally better than the lot on a recent local TV dance competition.

THE Bellydance Show of the Year

This is one of the most exciting weekends in the year!

I am looking at 3 nights of bellydance performance starting tonight.

The line-up of Singapore competitors this time is simply awesome!

It is good to see some of our strongest performers back in a competition that is suitably respected for this dance form.

To Bali and back

We made the 48-hour turnaround visit to Bali for yet another Paul Ropp Warehouse Sale. We were last there in March! Four months is definitely too short a time between his sales.

There wasn't anything for me to pick up this time. I had bought up everything worth buying the last time. I came away with exactly one pair of shorts. Alright, they aren't just shorts shorts; they are signature Paul Ropp shorts.

The man did better - he managed to find 4 shirts after really rummaging through every rack.

It was still a nice short getaway, made stress-free because we refused to hunt down new places to eat at. We settled for the true and tried Kafe Batan Waru, a short walking distance from our hotel. And for the caffeine fiend in me, this place does a decent latte.

For the uninitiated, this is the only time of the year - the antipodean winter months of June-July-August - when the weather is most pleasant.The days are breezily cool, and the nights are sometimes chilly.

There is still magic in the air in Bali :)

If-you-have-no-clothes

This is talking to me; I have no clothes :)

Oh, not really. But I'm there anyway ...

Remembering

I am tasked with compiling a play-list for an upcoming dinner party. I expected it to be an easy job. How wrong can I go if I select what I love enough to drum my fingers and tap my feet to?

Well, for starters, I am so rusty that I have difficulty recalling the songs I liked, even loved! How sad is that?

I started by looking up "greatest dance song lists" in the last *gasp* 4 decades.That's a long list. It has been a down-memory lane type of exercise as I recall the place, the year, the guy, the friends with every song. I kept only the happy memories.

The guests are my contemporaries; they are going to have to love my selection of hit dance songs.They'd have been down the same roads at about the same time, and therefore they must share the same sentiment. So there!

In the process of making my playlist, I stumbled upon a music genre I loved, which I had long forgotten - Hawaiian slack key guitar music by the maestro Keola Beamer.

I listened. I remembered. The sound still tugs at the heart-strings. And I smiled.

Bellydance Night@Shiraz

I will remember this night for a long time to come. The reasons were many:

The place is Shiraz. They do decent, even good, middle-eastern food. The service staff are always willing to accommodate special requests.

My favourite people - bellydancers - perform every night of the week. I love that they do multiple sets throughout the night. I detest places where the dancer does a single set of 3-songs and immediately leaves for another gig elsewhere; there's no satisfaction from eating or entertainment, just interruptus of the most annoying sort.

The evening provided the rare opportunity to catch up with friends who I otherwise do not get to see.

This time, the limelight shone on Fatema and Katerina Shereen. Both performers saved the very best - the forkloric danceforms - for their last sets with Fatema ending with saidi and Shereen finishing with khaleegi.
I stayed to the very end. The reasons were many.

Katerina Shereen @ Shiraz

There are several exciting bellydance events in the second half of the year.

Starting with this at Shiraz this entire week.

And who is Katerina Shereen?

I am so there there already :)

June

was the month
I celebrated my birthday. I have so many of you to thank for having come into my life and making it that much richer and fuller.

I grappled with my conflicted feelings about my parents knowing that I would have to be around them more often in the months ahead. And having to listen to Mother yammer a lot more in the process.

I made a few important life changing decisions. The one that is pertinent to you, my readers, pertains to my blog. I believe in keeping an open blog. I am happy to have met so many of you here. I hope to continue seeing you here.

I have also reached a point in my journal where I want to confine some of my posts to a more familiar and friendly readership. I will let you know when that blog is up and running. Write me (sinlady at gmail dot com) to get yourself on the invite list, please.

You see, I did a lot of thinking about my life and about living. And, with all due modesty, I look back and can honestly say I live my life the best I know how. I have few regrets. Except now, I need to do it better. And therefore, hopefully, have even fewer regrets.

It starts with keeping certain unwanted prying eyes out of some aspects of my life, even if only as a blogger.

She's Singapore's finest

I am around my parents a lot these past weeks because of father's medical condition. My sister has taken on the task of ferrying them to the hospital and be with them for the tests, then waiting and finally getting to see the doctor. I have taken it upon myself to meet them at the hospital to give the sister some respite from mother's incessant meaningless yammering.

Mother has recently taken to repeating ad nauseum the analogy of how a flower has to naturally bloom to be beautiful; if one tries to pry the flower open, the petals will just drop off. She thought the sister and I were like these naturally blooming flowers (because we are on hand to do the necessary?)

I bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting in her face: "Are you mad? You have alienated everybody. There is no one left to see you through these bad times. We are your daughters. What else can we do? Do we actually have a choice?"

I looked at the sister. I saw vexation written all over her face. After a beat, resignation set in. She turned to mother and calmly asked, "Ah then?"

I looked at the sister with renewed respect. So pragmatic. So to the point. So Singapore born and bred, schooled and trained.

I thought to myself: This woman, surely, has to be one of Singapore's finest!

Coffee with the Imp

Many years ago, we would see each other at the few smokey pokey pubs and clubs. So smokey that even the smokers had to step out for a breath of air; so pokey (no pun intended) that sharp elbow jabs stab into your rib cage all night long.We would exchange a smile and a wave, occasionally we managed a quick catchup over the din.

It was just that kind of a place so we had just that kind of a acquaintance.

At some point, I quit the scene. And I sort of followed her comings and goings through the grapevine.

Then I came to know about her blog, and quietly followed it for a while. Where I had once thought her intelligent, I now come to appreciate the breadth and depth of that intelligence, and her critical open mindedness about things she is not certain about.

At some point, we decided to meet up again because, well, it seemed like a good idea. We finally did.

I am happy she made the time to meet me. I see in her everything I already expected. And more, much more.

I see a beautiful, confident, caring and insightful young woman. Someone I am happy to have met and kept in touch with. I wish for her a life filled with meaningful endeavours. I know she will have that.

Even if I had first met her in some smokey pokey pub :)

bye, bye, dress

Remember this dress? Remember I said I absolutely, definitely, resolutely, hated it? I could find nothing to like about the dress; I even called it hideous.

Well, I don't anymore. Hate it, that is. Somebody is buying it off me. And all of a sudden, I feel a tinge of guilt that I was not nice to it.

But I know the new owner will sayang it. So bye bye dress. You will look so pretty on the nice lady.

I will miss you from time to time.

SinLady, Happy Birthday

Sometime in my early 20s, I stopped celebrating my birthday. I learn to avoid mentioning my birthday so that over the years, people start to forget about the day.

It isn't that I don't want to celebrate my birthday with friends; I just find it terribly awkward to walk into a party that celebrates ME.

I took to looking up certain special people in my birthday month, and ask them out for a quiet dinner or coffee. To have some "only for ourselves" time again. Some sort of renewal and re-affirmation of all that is good in our lives, you know.

Because of the recent sad medical news of father, I have been keeping a low profile this time. I just do not have the energy or enthusiasm to look up anybody. I had in fact cancelled a few engagements because I didn't want to put a damper on our meeting. You know who you are, and I appreciate your understanding. I will see you again in happier times.

But, some friends gave me a birthday do anyway. And to you, I say Thank You. For the friendship you give me. For the thoughtfulness you show me. For the happy times to remember.
p.s. check out what's written on the cake! I love it!!!

She's back

I never expect to hear from her again.

I was wrong. She emailed me, asking if I remembered her, asking how we are, it's been a l-o-n-g while since we last heard from each other, do we still go to Bali, to Paul Ropp etc.

As if the unpleasant incident about trying to borrow money from me never happened!

She tells me she and husband are back in Bali, he has retired from work, and she has a rental villa available whenever we next visit Bali. Out of curiosity, I looked up the other villa that was to have been put up for sale all those years ago when she desperately needed money. It's still there, available for rent by contacting her or her husband.

So, I replied to her saying yes, I remember her, we are fine, it's been a long time, we still go to Bali and to Paul Ropp.

And, yes, I'll let her know when next I visit Bali.

You know I will do no such thing.

FON people

It has been one week of bringing Father for tests, waiting for reports to be written, waiting for the team of doctors to confer. It will be next week before we will meet with the oncologist.

During this time I have some angry moments and some regretful thoughts as the mind reaches into dark recesses and cruelly yanks out long repressed memories. Mostly, I am able to keep my emotions in check, and get through each day with as little upset as possible.

I need my equilibrium. I cannot spare any emotion to tackle nonsense right now.

I also welcome diversion that allows me to focus on happier matters. So when the makan crew woman suggested getting together for dinner at their favourite Hokkien restaurant, I said yes. Then she said to limit the per head cost to $40/-. Then she suggested we order fewer dishes. Then she said if I have friends who are not budget conscious (what did she mean, really?) please invite them.

Like I said, I welcome diversion of an enjoyable kind. I am not about to take on planning a menu for a table of 10 with tight budget constraints and be told I have extravagant taste and friends.

With no hesitation, I told her to leave me out of the dinner arrangement for now. I have too much on my mind to deal with petty details over a casual dinner date.

I don't need to deal with people who are FON (full of nonsense). Especially now.

May

was the month
I will remember as a turning point in my life.

For most of the month, I was in the US/Canada. I remember again the many attributes I love about the people: the optimism, the open heartedness, the willingness to believe you and believe in you. I benefited from this supportive environment; I become this person today because of it.

Within 24 hours of coming back, I got a phonecall from Mother with the first devastating news of Father. Now come the tests and workups. Now come so many people with so many opinions - most of whom I dislike and distrust, others are disappointing and distracting.

Through this, I am grateful for the support of the few, and for knowing myself.

A snowy kind of May

It was a good time to make a side-trip to the resort town of Banff in the Canadian Rockies. There was snow everywhere - on the rugged mountain slopes, on the ground, on roof tops. I loved the feel of the sun on my face even as I bundled up against the cold cold wind that blew throughout the day.

It was too early for the full invasion of clueless and mindless tourists. I shamelessly and openly gawped at the few out-of-season tourists doing the usual bizarre stuff that clueless and mindless tourists do. Like having their pictures taken standing on thin ice next to the sign that said "Caution - Thin Ice". Like lying on the snow striking a pose that resembled a sit-up.

I walked away from the jarring people, blocking them out of my mind's eye.

I gave myself over to the sheer beauty and majesty of the surrounding rugged mountains and backcountry wilderness.

I want to remember the smell of alpine meadows on a day in May. I want to remember that I was happy and at peace with myself.

Asian Foods of Vancouver

Vancouver is the most Asianized metropolis in North America.

I stayed in Burnaby, an eastern suburb of Vancouver; I could have been in any Chinese city. The place is very Asian. Specifically, it is very Chinese.

The best eats in town is Asian. So, for the few days that I stayed at the Hilton in the Metrotown neighbourhood of Burnaby, it was Asian meals 80% of the time.
Just for you, imp, for asking: here is the obligatory sriracha chilli sauce found in every Asian restaurant in North America.
Our Alaskan King Crab dinner deserves special mention. For starters, this is my first real Alaskan King Crab meal. The monster crab was obscenely huge at 5.5kg. It was served up 3 different ways: we had steamed crab legs, battered and fried crab meat, and egg/crab fried rice.
Definitely, Asian food is the way to go when in Burnaby-Vancouver.

Food culture of Bakersfield

Many good things about Bakersfield never change - stuffing one's face with food followed by ice cream made the old fashioned way is one of them.

This town may be off the radar screen of most food reviewers, but I love the good old honest downhome vibe of these places :)

Noriega's

Noriega's Restaurant is the oldest Basque boardinghouse and restaurant in the world; it has just been honored as an American classic by the James Beard Foundation.

A Place to Bask in Basque Culture covers the Noriega experience beautifully.

Luigi's

Another Bakersfield classic, always busy, noisy, friendly and happy to see you again. Their BBQ beef sandwich is as good as I remembered it to be. Luigi's just celebrated their 100th anniversary with 5000 happy hungry Bakersfield residents :)

Buck Owen's Crystal Palace

It's at once a stage, show venue, dance hall, restaurant, museum, country store. And much much more. Like it says in the video, even if you are not a fan of anything country and western, you should still come see for yourself at least once. I will have you know cowboy food done well is a culinary experience in a league on it's own.

Dewar's

And finally, like Huell Howser says, "No trip to Bakersfield is complete without a visit to Dewar's".

Mahjong and Satay

They tell me when I left town, I left two "foreign" experiences to remember me by.

The first is mahjong, which they continue to play one afternoon a week. They tell me the weekly game cemented their friendship over the years.

The other is satay which I made for them before there were Singapore/Malaysian/Indonesian restaurants in California; before pre-mixes for satay marinade and peanut sauce were available in Asian grocery stores. They tell me they have not tasted satay that come close to what I make.

Now that I was in town, could I do satay dinner one night? And this time, one of them was tasked to learn the recipe.

Mahjong, with satay on the side. That's my contribution to this group of friends in this town.

I am proud of that :)

Special People

My visit to the US is all about seeing the special people again who played a role as friend and mentor, shaping me into who I am today: someone I like.

I hope to be able to visit often, and look forward to many home dinners, just like the old days.

Goodbye #2003

The storage unit measured 10x15 ft. Crates and boxes stayed stacked from floor to ceiling in #2003 for 10 years. I tried to clear and close down the facility a year ago, but there was just too many details that could not be worked out.

It would have been the same again this time, if not for the immeasurable amount of help extended to me by a very special couple.

With their generous help in the form of physical labour, local knowledge and unquestioning willingness to accommodate every request I asked of them, I finally and certainly put this 10 year burden behind me.

I ended up with a shipment of 5 small cartons containing a lifetime of bittersweet memories coming with me.

Everything else have found loving new homes and owners.

One of the most difficult items I had to leave behind is this piece of serious toy, made all the more difficult because I know I will never own another again.

It is now in the hands of a really good and responsible man, the only person I wanted to be its new owner.
And so, I start making and storing memories again. In another place. With another man.

The miles fly by

Long flights - my threshold is anything >5 hours - are brutal on the body and soul.

I remember the old days when the only reason airlines fed their passengers at all is sustenance, and movie entertainment involved contorting body and craning neck to get some view of the pull down movie screen in the front of cabin. I remember packing my own meal and picking up magazines at the departure newstand for fortification to make it through the tortuous hours in the air.

Inflight menu and entertainment have come a very long way for front and back of plane. These days, I give myself over to the airline's menu selection and actually look forward to being surprised at how well the food is prepared and presented.

And oh, the luxury of movies-on-demand. So you can watch what you want when you want. I am not much of a movie person, but there is always something watchable, maybe even enjoyable, in the selection of Hollywood blockbusters and other language offerings.

This time, The Tourist lay it on me thick with an endless visual treat of a good looking cast and set location. And afterwards, I sat through Anthony Zimmer to relive the experience in French.

And so, the miles fly by.

Seattle-Singapore

The month long visit to North America finally comes to an end. I leave tomorrow morning 11am from Seattle (2am Friday SG time) for the long flight home.

I am always happy to be in the US.

The biggest event was I managed to finally clear out and close down the storage facility I had kept for the last 10 years. With the help of a very good friend, its contents are now suitably re-situated in ways that does justice to the happy memories they have given me.

I spent equal time in Bakersfield, Vancouver and Seattle. There are many things I love in each place, but if I ever lived again in this continent, I would still return to Bakersfield, and visit every place and every one from there.

More on my thoughts and feelings about this place when I am back...

...the wind sure blows cold...

I've always heard it rains a lot in the Pacific North West. I now can attest to that fact.

We left Bakersfield April 30. That was the last we saw the sun.

We've been in Seattle and then Vancouver and Calgary-Banff. We are now back in Vancouver, and will leave on Friday for Seattle again.

I exaggerate not, but it has been rain and gray skies 80% of the time we are here. There has been even a day of snow in Banff! In May!! It isn't miserably cold, but having to be bundled up all the time is getting to me. I want to see myself in pretty skinny clothes once in a way, alright?

But that will have to wait till I get back to Singapore in 10 days' time. For the next week and half, I will live in my pile of clothes.

Like they say in a song, "... the wind sure blows cold way out there ..."

ps I think I need only post one picture of me for this entire trip since I have my leather jacket on every time.

On the road

Short update on my whereabouts:

The man and I were in Seattle after Bakersfield. We then left for Vancouver (more accurately, Burnaby). Four days of being around overseas Chinese was enough to make me grateful for a break away in Banff Alberta.

Banff is beautiful in an almost-alpine way. And as if to prove I am right, it is snowing (yes, SNOWING) this morning, in May!

I don't know that we are up to doing the Lake Louise drive, or take the gondola up Sulphur Mountain in the snow. And staying indoors in a log cabin styled hotel room isn't a bad idea.

I can decide all that in a while more. For now, I am happy to check on email and news snippets online.

More to come.

April

was the month
I went back to Bakersfield at the right time.

All the friends were home. Even the ones who now live outside of Bakersfield came home for the week.

The days were a crisp 20C. Wisps of cloud softened the bright sunny skies with pillowy patterns.

I accomplished two important tasks this time in Bakersfield.

1. I met up with the two special women. The 15 or 16 years melted away as we asked after each other and about the significant people in each others' lives. I am just grateful to manage this start to reacquainting with friends I left behind.

2. I cleared and closed the storage unit! (more of this later).

Believe it or not, I actually hated to leave this town that I once couldn't wait to flee.

Either time does indeed heal all wounds, or time distorts history. It doesn't matter; I have my reasons for loving the place now.

Remembering old acquaintances

I am all set for the US and Canada.

I look forward to being in California again. And seeing the old friends. Maybe even manage an afternoon of mahjong with them, for old times' sake.

There are two people in the old hometown I will see again for the first time in 10 years. One is my former employer, who gave me my first job in the US. The other was the editor of our Chinese community newsletter; I was the feature writer of the newsletter for a full cycle of the Chinese horoscope (Rat year 1984 to Pig year 1995). Both women are special to me: if not for their wise counsel, I would never have grown into the person I am today.

There are many more people who have stepped into my life and made me a better person for having made their acquaintance. But I can only do so much each time, and I want to spend enough time with each one to make the reacquainting meaningful.

So, with a little more grace and patience, I will come around to seeing everybody who touched my heart and enriched my life, at least one more time...

RTFM

I am busy finalising my travel plans.

My favourite premier carrier tells me that my scheduled return flight has been cancelled and they have rescheduled me to return one day early.

Well, I can return later, not earlier.

A trip to their service centre is necessary since a phone call will only get me through to a call centre hell in some foreign land.

I expect to have the flight change resolved within 10 minutes. I am dealing with a multi award-winning industry leader in its home country after all.

But noooo. The representative I was assigned blithely informed me (1) I could only be wait-listed on the flight that stops over at Narita, and 2) I could get on the direct flight by paying $75.00 for making the change.

In exasperation, I turned to her colleague in the next cubicle and started to whole process of presenting my case.

A few strokes on her keyboard and the change was effected. No fuss, no muss.

The first representative stared daggers at me.

I wanted to yell at her: "Hey stupid. RTFM, will you? You don't penalise your passenger traveling in any category when you cancel the flight, never mind a full-paying business class passenger."

But I looked into the stupid stubbornness in her eyes, and decided to ignore her instead.

I have many more things that require my attention before I leave in a couple of days...

All Day Dimsum

A dimsum/jiao zi store at a hawker centre is a welcome if unusual find at the hawker centre. The new kid on the block is You Peng Fresh Mian Jiao Zi Guan.

The store stands out from the usual suspects in the hawker centre: a row of orange lights hang like a fringe at the store front. Six men in uniform - smart white top over black pants - work with quiet efficiency taking orders, making the dumplings, cooking and serving up the food.

The menu is limited to jiaozi, wo tieh, xiaolongbao and la mian.

On a quiet night, when all I want is a small order of dumplings to go with a bowl of hawker-style noodles, this store will do very nicely...

You Peng Fresh Mian Jiao Zi Guan is located at
144 Upper Bukit Timah Road,
Beauty World Centre #04-23
Tel: 64635608, 92391598

Business hrs: Everyday 10:30am to 9.00pm

A night@Shiraz with Angelina

They are new bellydance students looking for a chance to try out their newly acquired bellydance skills.

Because I really like these girls. Because I want them to stay interested and enthusiastic with the dance. Because I believe to grow in the love and learning of dance, it has to be experienced outside the confines of the dance studio.

I wanted to make it a girls' night of dinner and bellydance. I need food, drinks and a professional bellydancer.

The perfect restaurant is Shiraz - the women loved their dinner, desserts and drinks.

The perfect bellydance professional to show and lead them is Angelina Tay.
Thank you again, Angelina, for taking care of the girls and giving them so much of your time. Bringing hip scarves for all of them to get them into the mood was a particularly thoughtful gesture.

Everything went very well. The girls came away inspired and in awe of bellydance and the bellydancer :)

I know we will be back again very soon. And the group will be even bigger.

Pig-out at Eng Seng Restaurant

I have said
- I will not stand in a queue for food,
- I will not eat dinner while the sun is still high in the sky,
- I will not eat at places where they serve up attitude with the food.

Then our wonderful foodie friends say we have to do crab dinner at Eng Seng for the best Black Pepper Crab. To organise this pig-out session, they had to
- go at 4.30 pm to pick and pay for the crabs,
- go at 5.30 pm to "chope" a big table for our party of 10.

It was still hot and sunny at 5:30pm. Every table in the house was taken. Ceiling fans with grease coated blades spun lazily, circulating hot air and cooking oil vapour.

There was a line outside, and walk-in's were being turned away because every crab was already spoken for!

Our dinner order hit the table and empty plates removed in rapid succession. Every dish was surprisingly very tasty.

Then came the piece de resistance - Black Pepper Crab. This isn't crab fried up with cracked black peppercorns. The crab is fried in a fragrant sweetish pepper sauce that clings to every part of the crab, making it literally finger-linking good!

Everyone of us pronounced this the best Black Pepper Crab we have ever had.

Would I come back? Yes I would (forget what I said at the top of this post.) And very soon too.

Eng Seng Restaurant is located at
247/249 Joo Chiat Place
Singapore 427935
Tel: 6440 5560
Important:
Hrs: 4:30pm till when the last crab is eaten at about 9:00pm.
Closed on Wednesdays

Still doing the CB thing.

I have not forgotten or forgiven her insensitivity and senselessness.

She sent me a text message, saying she hasn't heard from me in ages, asking for my home phone. Something about it costing peanuts on a line phone vs calling me on my mobile.

It took me only a second to text her back, telling her I'd just come back from Bali, and will be gone again for a month in late April, then again in September, with small trips in between.

Read forget it, you CB. I no want to talk to you. I no want to hear from you in any way.

But I will hear from her again. She will never get the hint. She will blithely carry on doing her CB thing.

March

was the month
of checking out many new and almost-new restaurants helmed by michelin-starred and celebrity chefs. I have to decline any more such invites; these places are overrated in every way, the most insulting being that the title of "chef" is meaningless.

Most were forgettable, others were downright regrettable (more on the bad stuff at another time).

Still, I miss my food posts and the (mediocre) pictures that go with them. For now, I want to share this photostream from flickr. I am really impressed with the guy's collages of foods and drinks, especially his collection of teh-tarik and acrobatics tea shots:)

I am glad the partying season finally came to a close. I want to/need to get on with my own wants and needs in my own way, in my own time for the remaining months...

Weave the Ruby Mandala

I started bellydance lessons with Keti Sharif. I have moved on to other good and great teachers to whom I am grateful for their patience and generosity in imparting their skills and expertise.

I attended Keti's Ruby Mandala workshop - a
beautiful 2-hr session of smooth downtempo veil work of flowing pattern formation.

And as before, I find myself amazed at how this dancer-teacher manages to teach, inspire and challenge students at any level. I feel included, involved, and ultimately, I feel I am really dancing.

That is the strength of Keti Sharif the bellydance teacher. She manages the tricky balance of teaching while tapping into the student's level of individual ability so that at the end of the workshop, the student comes away with ownership of the dance.

I know I still love bellydance, I still dance today, I still think bellydance is relevant in the word of dance, because of having her as my first teacher.

The Journey - a poem for you

It will always pain me to see my women friends continue to work at being everything to everybody.

These words are dedicated to you:

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

from The Journey

That PR dress

I just fell in love with this dress at Paul Ropp's.

I got one (two?) for myself, and one for a very special girl friend.

And if the dress doesn't drape her long lean body perfectly in the most beautiful way, she will just have to change whatever is necessary with her body. LOL

The sale I wait for

I have a love-hate relationship with Bali.

I hate having to quarrel with the hotel receptionist for trying to give me a room that is less than what I booked and paid for. I hate the the bumpy taxi rides through narrow lanes that are more pot-holed than paved surface. I detest alfresco fine dining in the sultry evenings. I have no patience with the street vendors hawking cheap tourist trinkets at outrageously inflated prices.

Then there is Paul Ropp. I love-love-love his Indian inspired bohemian creations. The Paul Ropp shops in Bali each carry a small selection of clothes and accessories. I love rummaging through a much bigger selection at his warehouse sale.

And yes, I love to see once again the big smiles on the faces of the crew who work here.

Bali according to Paul Ropp

Note the factory/warehouse from 10;30

That's where I'll be next week! Yes!

Paul Ropp Factory Sale March 2011

Yes!

I am looking into flight and hotel bookings.

Then I there already.

Yes!

February

was the month
visitors of every stripe blew into town - almost-friends, real dear friends, sort-of families.

The most interesting are the relatives from Shantou. Until now, they are only people I have heard about. I am glad to finally meet them for a family dinner, pose for the obligatory family group picture, and sort of sad to know that in all probability, I will not see them again. I just cannot think of circumstances that will lead us to look up each other after this.

There is unrest again between the brother and parents. It distresses me to hear from the sister how much hatred there is between them. I am resigned to the fact that, like all previous rows, the brother will still do nothing to make things right for himself and his family. It reaffirms in my mind that the only thing to do is leave these people to fight each other their entire lives.

It is time I start to look to travel :)