My life these days

I have settled nicely to not having to go to work. Many people are just not able to understand or are not willing to accept that I am really content with my life as is.

Sure, some things about work life I do miss. I miss taking care of the cheery and gracious people I met in the course of my work. I even actually miss the meaningless workplace gossip at times, puerile entertainment that it might have been.

But I do not miss any of the work regiment and I definitely do not miss the stress that comes with the territory.

I alocate three days in the week as me-time. This takes the form of dance sessions during which time I put aside vexations to immerse myself fully in the music and movement. I assign one day to doing the necessary household chores. The other free days are just that - free. Free to meet up with friends, catch a movie, read that book.

I am free to travel when the fancy strikes.

Free also to indulge my favourite cooking, which is making desserts. And, when I have something to put into writing, I update my blog.

Here's where my friends have plenty of well meaning intentions but not well thought-out advice.

You cook so well! I love your (insert favourite food)! Why don't you consider opening a restaurant?

You write so well! I enjoy reading your blog! Why don't you write a book?

Because, my friends, I don't want to get back to work in a restaurant or write a book. I don't even have anything to put into a book!. I want to just enjoy the freedom I have.

If I cooked for you, believe me, it was a labour of love.

When I update my blog, it's because I have something to share with you. (And while I am at it, I want you to know I know you do not read my blog.)

That's my life these days. I have no complaints. I am content.

March hafla by Belinda@Blujaz

(click on image for enlargement)

More on Blujaz happenings here.

Letting go

I felt it increasing over time. It's in her words and deeds. And stubbornly, I brushed aside my doubts and suspicions. Because I did not want to believe a friendship that lasted almost a lifetime has been a total sham.

But in the end, I had to face up to the ugly reality about our relationship. It is a lost cause, and I have already stayed the course, for old times' sake, for too long.

She harbours resentment towards me. In every thing and every way.

The sentiment has a name. It is called envy.

And against something as pervasive as envy, I have no defense.

So sadly, I let go of all hopes of salvaging a relationship I had treasured for too many years.

The Makeup Shop

For you ladies who want to wear a really special look for a really special event, or even for an improved everyday look, this is a really fun shop to check out.

The same goes for you guys too ;)

For love, money and holiday?

There has been an increase in the number of Singapore women arrested for drug smuggling. The profile emerges that they are in their 20s and 30s, single, are either unemployed or work in clerical, sales or service jobs. They have no prior criminal record.

These women are targeted by Nigerian drug smuggling rings to move narcotics across borders.

The modus operandi of the drug traffickers is to seduce the women with love, money and holidays.

Readers are less than kind in their comments directed at these women. Negative opinions run along the lines of stupid, ignorant, greedy.

What puzzles me about these women is - what's in it for them? Really.

Love? I wouldn't think there was enough time. Money? I don't think the sums involved are big enough. Holiday? I can't even see that as incentive.

I keep coming back to this really sad picture: these women are emotionally vulnerable because they have little self-esteem. When a man, any man, shows them a little attention, their minds and emotions are instantly scrambled so badly that they are no longer capable of rational thinking.

Surely only women who have no sense of self-worth will risk everything in return for empty promises of love, money and holidays?

Help me fill in the missing parts to this puzzle.

Growing old

Growing old has been on my mind of late.

It could be that our government has been busy making plans for us: active lifestyle, longer work years and, eventually, nursing homes here or across the causeway. I get particularly nervous when Singaporeans are told to reflect on how to adapt and adjust to this 'silver tsunami'.

A tsunami is a seismic sea wave; it leaves behind indescribable damage every place it hits. How exactly are we supposed to react to news of tsunamis be they tidal, economic or silver? With dread of course.

I was around old people a lot for many years in my younger days.

I played mahjong with a group of elderly women. This weekly social activity was what they looked forward to. When one of them fell terminally ill, we carried on the weekly game even at the hospital. I felt a happy sadness when it was mentioned at her memorial service how being able to carry on playing mahjong helped her through the darkest moments of end-stage illness.

When I had to put together a fashion show of cheongsams for the Chinese Women's Club, I made sure a particular older woman was in the show. She was really still beautifully regal and elegant, but we were fast losing her as a person to Alzheimer's. It was not easy working her into the show but it was made possible with the help of the other models. Her family video taped the show. And till today, I am happy knowing that a short film exists that shows this special woman - mother, grandmother, aunt, friend - when she looked beautiful one last time for her loved ones to admire.

I have to share my honest opinion about old people: they are a difficult lot to like. They can be cranky, grumpy and impossibly demanding one day, and sweet, caring and co-operative the next. And if you are taking care of them during their illness and end days, the experience can leave you physically exhausted and emotionally drained.

But when I think of what a difference those efforts have made to these people when they were with us, and what beautiful memories they left for their families and friends, I am happy I did what I did when I was able to.

These days, I am still around old people a lot.

And growing old has been on my mind a lot of late.

Because these days, I am practically one of them.

Art imitates Life?

Life imitates art more than art imitates life - Oscar Wilde

This is entertaining.

This is ... scary?

Not a joke anymore

It sounded like a joke back then.

The girlfriend is a proud naturalized American citizen for most of her adult life. America is where she made her life. America is where she raised her children. America is her life.

Then came the first rumblings of the financial meltdown in the last months of last year. The girlfriend spent one sleepless night thinking where to park her life savings. By the morning, she cleared out her savings with US banks and migrated everything to the State Bank of India. Now she can sleep nights again, she declared.

We all thought it was such a joke.

Now, the State Bank of India is more valuable than the Citigroup. And there is no end in sight of the ongoing financial carnage with the US banking institutions yet.

Now, the girlfriend's decision seemed so visionary and sound.

Now, the girlfriend's decision is neither flighty nor funny and definitely not a joke anymore.

February

was the month
- the holiday season finally ended. I can get back to a more normal pace of living.

- I had an epiphany: I have lousy friends. Having admitted to myself that some people are just not worth wasting time and effort on, I have now moved on. I appreciate my other friends even more. My equilibrium is restored.

- I first heard the expression "happy like bird" . Of all the uniquely Singaporean idioms, I love this the best :) "Happy like toad" comes a close second.

- I had an unexpected call from Mother one afternoon. Even more unexpected was that I was not the target of her verbal and emotional assault. This time, it was my brother. The one who lived with the parents for the last 7 years during which time they have had many confrontations of significant seismic proportions. There will be a few more aftershocks to come, then calm will return. Until the next confrontation. That's just life with Mother.

- my blog got spammed by commercial sites! I had to delete the spam comments one by single one. I now make it a practice to disable comments to older posts as a precaution against future attacks.

- I will start on making fun plans for the rest of the year.

What are you doing?

First came blogs. Then there were RSS feeds, followed by Facebook. And now, there is Twitter.

It may not be true that only morons are drawn to Twitter, but everyone on Twitter sounds like a moron.

I could not have expressed my loathing for constant updating of inanities any better.

I am old fashioned. I am still stuck in the blog era and if anybody out there wants to know what I am doing, they will have to actually read a few short paragraphs made up of sentences that convey my thoughts.

Me and the group

The truth is, I find it difficult to fit in with a group Any group. It's not like I don't want to belong. It's more like I am too different to be a real group member.

I can be on a team and work closely with a group. I can look and make-believe I am with the group. But I never feel I am really one of them.

So, when the dance friends suggested that I joined them to buy lunch for the instructor, I said yes with no hesitation. I've been in class with them about a year, and had never spent time with any of them outside of the dance sessions. I thought it was time I got to know them better.

Lunch should have been a straight-forward affair, right? We order food, we eat, we chat, we pay up, we split.

Well, no. Personality traits, strange beliefs and stranger practices came up.

The ringleader (take note that there is always one in a group) said for everyone to order their favourite dish from the huge menu. (Shades of democracy at play here.) When a dish was suggested, she vetoed the suggestion and offered an alternative. A better choice, she proclaimed. (Power play at work here.) And the others would agree. (Long established pecking order here).

They proclaimed that drinking water during the meal was harmful to one's health. I did not protest; I was trying my best to be one of the group, remember?

Believe me, every grain of rice felt like grit scraping the sides of my throat with every swallow.

They had huge appetites, and it was a delight to see them put away the food. But I really could not eat like them or I'd be zonked out for the rest of the afternoon from carbo overload. So they got on my case about not eating enough rice, which - you guessed it - was going to be detrimental to my health.

Finally, the food part of the meal was over. They ordered their hot coffees, teh's, milo's. I asked for an iced coffee (Please!! Finally, relief for my parched lips and dry throat). They said to me, "Do you know that you will get diabetes from drinking iced coffee?" I really and truly didn't. I also really and truly did not believe them. Besides I really and truly needed my iced coffee.

I got my way. I got my iced coffee. They eyed the melting ice in my glass mug with something between fascination and suspicion.

Well, as with all good things, the lunch had to come to an end. The group split up, meaning I went my way while the rest of them took off to explore the shops together. As a group.

See how I just have difficulty fitting into a group? Any group.

My lousy friends

I don't readily think of many people I know as my friends. Those I do call "a friend" are precious to me - people I trust, love and care about.

Then, I have this category of people that I have finally come to call "my lousy friends". I still care about them, and I will still happily see them when they come calling, but I would not devote too much time and effort to figuring them out.

One such friend is currently visiting Singapore. So we know we have limited time for each other. We made plans for dinner. She changed her mind when something more interesting came along, and she did not bother to tell me till I looked for her the day before our date. When was she going to tell me? Was she even going to tell me?

Another had been asking me to visit her at her new location abroad. I always felt sort of bad that I was not terribly interested in that country. Now that I have the time and finally mustered the courage, I wrote to say I will gladly come visit within these 2 months when the weather there is still pleasant. I have not heard back from her in 3 weeks. Was she going to wait till the summer sun scorches the desert sand before she tells me then is a good time, knowing I will not go then?

I see no reason the first one could not have just sms'ed me to say there has been a change of plans. And the second one to just tell me now is not a good time to visit her.

Actually, I do not know what's going through their minds or what is happening in their lives. In spite of this lapse in social etiquette, I still think they are good people. And in time I will get over my peeve..

For now, I can cope with their bad form by just thinking of them as "my lousy friends".

His other lover(s)

I thought of a particular man I know when I read this story.

Ever the Cassanova, even to this day, he has an endless string of extramarital affairs. It got to where I don't bother to remember the women's names because it will be someone else the next time I see him.

Perversely, he keeps mementos of his trysts. Photographs, love notes, gifts. All these are kept in a box stored in his office. He entrusts to his best friend the instruction that should anything happen to him to dispose of his secret stash. Under no circumstances was the friend to think he would be doing a huge favour by handing the box of secrets to the widow.

My story takes a departure from that in the news: the wife preceded him in death. He is now free to carry on with his predilection of the lusty lifestyle with single-mindedness.

Back to the story in the news: I can't help thinking how awful it must be to be robbed of the chance to cuss out the old coot.

Driving test

Everything you need to know about driving in a foreign country near you.

Wind and Fire

Last night, it was "vegetation fire" on the news feed as it streamed across the TV screen.

This morning, in the Straits Times, front page:
'Experts said that "light wind conditions" since Friday have allowed the build-up of particles in the air.'

ST reporter said, '...and with weak winds unable to blow the smoke particles away.'

I cannot decide if I am amused or tortured anymore.

Too late

This woman just missed her flight:



Oh, how I feel her anguish. haha

Love happens

Of late there has been a rash of stories on the dating industry which is experiencing an increase in uptake.

One reason given was the bleak economic times. The other was the scary prospect of spending Valentine's Day alone. Both are perfectly good reasons I guess. And I always thought love happens when it happens. Oftentimes when you least expect it. How naive of me.

As an intellectual exercise, I imagined using these services. I mentally worked through what I would say about myself - a gorgeous-looking, fun-loving free spirit who loves tropical sunsets by the beach . I would be looking for somebody who is similarly inclined.

But the reality is that what is asked and listed by the users of dating services is of sterner stuff like education, earnings current and potential, age etc. Makes me think of a job application; I feel like a reject already. And if I were accepted, would I really want to follow through and spend my days living up to the expectations I have declared.

A thousand life-times NO! Even if the chastity requirement is no longer high on the list (oh thank you that my dating history is not subject to strict scrutiny and, by the way, who uses that word anymore?)

I'd go to that beach by myself - single, free, gorgeous. I will enjoy that beautiful golden sunset by the beach. And know that I need not look so hard for love.

Because I know love will happen. It really will. Oftentimes when you least expect it.

About love

14th of February. A day dedicated to love between lovers.

Proof of love is in gifts of jewelry, chocolate, a candle lit dinner at a posh restaurant with 30 other starry-eyed couples.

Declaration of love is in the Straits Times classifieds screaming: love you forever, you are my everything, you are my life, be mine forever. There are others who have multiple loves in their lives so the declaration goes out to the number one, two or three wives. The more diplomatic and sensitive among them declare undying love to all three.

I am moved.

But something a little more subtle will move me more. Like these lines:

Nothing
in the world
is usual today.
This is
the first morning.

Izumi Shikibu (974-1034)

And in the evening, in the intimacy of my home, sitting down to a beautiful dinner cooked by the lover with so much care and thought.

Love is all around

Still my love song. After all these years.

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
The love that's all around me
And so the feeling grows

It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show

You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
'Cause on my love you can depend

I see your face before me
As I lay on my bed
I cannot get to thinking
Of all the things you said

You gave your promise to me and I gave mine to you
I need someone beside me in everything I do

You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
'Cause on my love you can depend

I got to keep it moving

It's written in the wind
Oh everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show
Come on and let it,
Come on and let it
Come on and let it,
Come on and let it show

Yuan xiao jie (元宵節)

otherwise, Chap Goh Mei (十五暝)
While Chinese New year is usually the most dreaded of festive seasons for many, I have to confess that I actually enjoy this holiday season. It has everything to do with the fact that I am not bogged down by troublesome traditions pertaining to family or superstitions. I am free to take the time to catch up with friends, close and casual. And I did plenty of that.

It is the season we greet with good wishes. We wish for health, wealth, prosperity, success and longevity - all the conditions that define good living according to Chinese tradition.

Tonight is the last chance to ask for wishes come true.

Tonight, on yuan xiao jie, under a perfect full moon, I will ask for the one last wish that got buried in the frenzied rush for the good life.

Tonight, on the last night, under a perfect full moon, I will wish for love. An old fashioned romatic love. Between one man and one woman.

English usage and abusage

Like any proud self-respecting Singaporean, I make reading the Straits Times part of my morning ritual. I read it for its news coverage, social commentary, editorial opinion, political and philosophical analysis.

And I read it to check my understanding and use of the English language.

The following excerpts are typical examples of what appears in said paper:

1. Murdered maid was in love triangle (Home, ST February 6 2009, page C4)
"Ms Yulia Afriyanti, is alleged to have died at the hands of her lover in a crime of passion."

I understand putting one's life in somebody's hands. I understand dying in the arms of a lover. I do not understand "is alleged to have died at the hands of her lover". I don't understand the comma appearing after the victim's name either.

2. How Govt can engage netizens effectively (Forum, ST February 6 2009, page A23)
"The perceived shroud of secrecy the Internet provides users makes them feel comfortable in ventilating their darker emotions or exploring more sinister aspects of their minds."

Ventilating? Suddenly I have difficulty breathing.

I will continue to measure my standard of English proficiency against the august Straits Times. It is, after all, one of the region's oldest and most respected English-language daily newspapers and a partner in the Speak Good English movement.

The Love Hafla by Belinda@BluJaz

(click on image for enlargement)

more information here

Look at me now

What a difference 6 months make

Yes, he is a big handsome fella now

A sign

This sign is displayed outside a tailor shop.

Pray tell, what are they saying???

January

was the month
- I did very little of anything pertaining to the Chinese New Year; it has been a very pleasant month. In particular, I successfully avoided having to deal with mother after a pre new year lunch. She is more unhappy with me than usual, but that's another story for another post.

- I was back in Katong more times in one month than the entire previous year.

- I love the pockets of old Katong that I still recognize - old style homes and shops that stayed the same as if in defiance of aggressive encroachment fueled by crass modernization of the area.

- I finally got together with my favourite group of pig-out friends for a long-promised evening at the veritable grand dame of peranakan food - Guan Hoe Soon.

- I am happy that the new kid on the block - Haven's Grill (191 Joo Chiat Road, tel 63487368) across the narrow street from Guan Hoe Soon - finally got their liquor license. They are set to welcome diners looking for great western food on a street long dominated by zhi char stalls and pubs.

You were right from the beginning

I am still in the catch-up-with-friends mode. Mostly it has been great fun updating each other.

Then there are the ones who are at a cross-road in their lives. How to know which path to take? If wrong path then how? Aiyoh, let me tell you these folks can analyze and agonize till the cows come home and still not make a decision. And the more they think through the puzzle, the more off-course they become as they get mired in their own over-analysis.

It made me think of Blink: the power of thinking without thinking in which Malcolm Gladwell made the convincing case that thin-slicing is a neat cognitive trick that involves taking a narrow slice of data, just what you can capture in the blink of an eye, and letting your intuition do the work.

Rapid cognition is really a powerful decision making tool if we understand how the brain is capable of processing a life-time of experience and knowledge in the first 2 seconds that we encounter a person or situation. Our first impressions are more accurate than we usually allow ourselves to believe.

So to those of you who are still wringing your hands, pacing the floor and cannot make up your mind, I say, "Come on man. Trust yourself. You were right from the beginning."

So now either go for it, or junk it.

Houseful of Children

There is this rare breed of people who loves babies and young children. I have an aunt and uncle who are just like that.

They raised their own two children - a son and a daughter - in the 1970s. Then they helped looked after my sister's son in the 80s. My aunt also gives home tutoring to school children who often stay throughout the day until they are picked up by their parents at the end of the long work day. Theirs is a house always filled with the laughter of young children.

I truly admire this couple for the unconditional love they have for babies, infants and young children. Theirs is the only relative's home I go for a visit during the Chinese New Year season.

The aunt and uncle now have 3 grandchildren - aged 3 years, 5 months, 3 weeks. I am truly happy that they have their children's children to care for now.They are kept busy with looking after the young ones.

Very busy. And very happy.

JiaoZi - at last

I really really want to be able to fold jiaozi that is recognizable.

I studied this move by hitting the replay button many many times.

It looked easy enough. Then I put it to practice. I made many many strangely shaped things.

Until - finally - voila - jiaozi-shaped jiaozi's. Yes!

san nin fai lock to you too

For most of my adult life, I have little to do with the observances and traditions of the Chinese New Year season.

I successfully broke from having to do dinners with the family or going to various households.

I have the friends over for dinners on the non-significant days so as to avoid having to rush with everyone else at the markets and stores. In all, CNY is not all that stressful for me.

Which leaves me time to nit-pick at my ang moh chek friends who try to be fashionably Chinese during this season when they really do not know the usage of the language.

I don't know if it's just me, or it's the way the CNY days fall this time that is creating a lot of confusion with the dates. For example, when the friends say 'let's get together on the 3rd', I do not know if they mean the third day of the CNY or the 3rd of February.

Worse when they use the term gor nin loosely as in 'let's get together for gor nin fan' and they do not mean eve of CNY.

I cope by clarifying everything in standard English and using the ang moh calendar; no code-switching between Chinese dialects and Singapore accented English on something as important as dinner dates.

Hey, I managed to debunk unsavoury traditions, I certainly can overcome quirks.

San Nin Fai Lock to you too.

Shi Wang

Shi Wang on display at Central Mall till February 9.
He is an impressive fella.

The new guy

I so want some of my girlfriends to get this

An old fashioned cake

I loved this steamed sponge cake as a child. I remembered the amah whisking eggs and sugar to a froth; then something about adding fizzy soda pop to make the cake rise; then carefully folding in the flour; then holding our collective breath as the cake steamed. Happiness was when the cake came out right - it must not "open" (this is not huat kueh), it must not sink, and it must not be full of holes.

The cake isn't particularly sophisticated in texture or taste; it just has nostalgic appeal. I decided that this will be my dessert contribution at the Chinese New Year dinners.

I tried several of the versions available online.Results ranged from spectacular failure to near-success. I finally approached an old style amah I knew from long ago. She ran the recipe and method by me, which I promptly put to the test.

This is the most successful one todate. The friends will have this old fashioned dessert over CNY. I add either dates or citrus peel to make the cake more celebratory.

Footnote : the online recipes are missing two vital "secrets" in their list of ingredients so the cake, if it doesn't burst open or sink, will just taste plain. I think their cooking (steaming) time is also too short.

p.s. Yes I will share recipe with those who are interested.

Evolution of Dance

Come on - you just gotta like this.



Comedy without saying a word!

I love the guy.

And for comparison, here's his earlier act.

And they wed

A short courtship. Spending just enough time to know just enough about each other.

An elegant wedding party for a small gathering of colleagues, friends and family. With just enough of the people who are meaningful to them.

The days and years ahead are theirs to make into memories.
I am truly happy for them.

That's what friends are for

The old schoolmates came in from London.

It has been many years since we last saw each other. Dinner conversation was lively, even raucous. We brought up names of others we have not seen or heard from in forever.

The ones who were - at least according to us - strange, weird, annoying, quiet, talkative.

The ones who fought and clawed their way into the pages of Tatler, Prestige, Peak.

The ones who rose spectacularly in their careers and fell just as spectacularly.

All brought up in good fun, never with malice. We have all been through our own battles in life and know better than to pass judgment on anyone else.

Most important of all, we are grateful we have yet another occasion to get together, to talk of the good old times we had, to share the ups and downs we lived through, to know that we are living our lives the best we know how.

We will each go back to our own worlds in a few short days.

Until then, we will share the dreams we dare to dream, the darkest fears our hearts have known, and the happiest of moments we have lived. And know that, as always, all that's been said among us will always stay only with us.

That's what friends are for.

The sale I've been waiting for

That Paul Ropp sale is on again.

But for the first time in three years, I will give this a miss.

It is just too close to the Chinese New Year - I have too much to take care of at the home front.

I am sure just because I can't make it, it will just happen to be really the best ever sale in the history of Paul Ropp sales.

I have already forgotten that after the last time, I said I was going to skip the next Paul Ropp sale. Sigh. You see, I am like that when it comes to Paul Ropp.

Oh well, there is the next one to look forward to.

Fashionably Indian with Stephie@Potpourri

(click on image for larger view)

January is turning out to be a very hafla kind of month.

January hafla by Belinda

(click on image for larger view)

The first hafla of the year by Belinda. It's whatever you want to make of it - so join us!

Hair to stay

The imp's post about body hair reminded me of an incident some time ago when I was working in a medical aesthetics clinic.

One of the services the clinic offered was permanent hair removal by laser.

This mainland Chinese woman came in for a consultation about underarm hair removal by laser. I went through the spiel on how the laser works, the number of sessions required, the fee etc etc. Throughout the consult, she kept asking what I meant by permanent. She first looked perplexed then was positively alarmed when I repeated over and over that the end point of hair removal by laser was that hair will never grow again.

When the fact finally sank in, she gasped and said to me, "You mean NEVER grow again? No hair? Oh no, like that cannot do. When it is winter then how?"

Yes, it was my turn to be perplexed and then alarmed.

Apparently the culture there is to let underarm hair grow in the winter!

Yes, imp, they want the full 2-inch long axilla hair in its full luxuriant glory. Heh.

She danced?

I debated long and hard before deciding I need to air my grouse regarding this programme :

Genre:	Variety
Duration:	30mins
No. of Episodes:	13
Cast:	Belinda Lee 李心钰.
Synopsis:	Our host, Belinda Lee now travels to these world capitals of modern and cultural dances to get a crash course on dancing. At the end of the journey, Belinda will either show off her dance steps she has learned or in fact, put through a real performance on stage! "Come Dance With Me" is the ultimate travel experience that mixes a dose of reality-TV, exoticism and adventure. *This series expire on 31 March 2009

I saw the repeat telecast of three of them - Flamenco, Bellydance and Ballroom.

I have issues aplenty with the whole concept - that anybody can master a dance form after a crash course (four days, to be exact) and be good enough to show off what was learned, or better yet, put in a real performance.

On a personal level, I think she showed nothing but arrogance at the end of 4 days of intense training.

On a larger scale, I think it is unmitigated disrespect to presume that one has even begun to grasp the basics of any dance just because one has put in some hard hours with master teachers, never mind trying to do any justice to the dance form.

She mimicked the different dances, doing a better job with some than others. But she made a mockery out of dance as a discipline that would take years of dedicated training to master.

Come dance with me? I don't think so.

December

was the month
- of many one-more-time-before-the-new-year get-togethers. I loved every one of them.

- my sanity and sense of equilibrium stayed intact thanks to the fact that many of my dance classes went on uninterrupted. I am truly grateful to the instructors and dance mates who kept the classes going. I needed these me-times in December more than another other time in the year.

- I got back to making Christmas sweets - mainly chocolate fudge and brownies. There was one happy kid out there - the one we nicknamed "the Brain" - who got a full tray of brownies to himself for the holidays.

- I considered eliminating from pillow talk friends the blogs that have been inactive for close to a year now. I still will, quietly and with of tinge of regret, later in the new year. I need to convince myself that the owner had really abandoned the blog, and, reluctantly, so should I.

- my favourite aunt got her third grandchild (girl), making her a very busy but happy woman

- when a lot more things went my way than not, making it a good festive month.

Countdown

oh my friend, we're older but no wiser
for in our hearts the dreams are still the same

The intimate stories that we shared, the private thoughts we whispered - as the year draws to a close today we will carry our dreams into the new year...

hello 2009.

Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, I did nothing much of anything except try to recover from the Night before Christmas.

On the second day of Christmas, I braved the shopping crowd and went into town to have a late lunch with a special friend and ally from the bellydance clique. We spent the rare occasion catching up with girlie gossip and left each other reinforced with the certainty that we righted every wrong.

I even felt brave enough to do a home hair colour job on my tortured hair which has turned a truly yucky yellow-orange. My hair is now a less yucky violet red if any body wants to spot me by hair colour.

On the third day of Christmas, my mother rang. There went my feel-good of the season for the day. Dang!

Christmas of Friends and Family

The Christmas season holds no religious significance for me.

Rather, it has always been a time for remembering special friends and family. For spending some personal time with those special people in my life, and knowing that things are going well for them. For seeing out a year that has been lived with grace and goodness and looking forward to the promises of the next.

But more often than not, I would end up trying to meet the demands and expectations of work and family, taking it upon myself to make sure that everything and everybody is taken care of. The season then becomes an annual exercise in surviving a month-long marathon of rushing from pillar to post. On the outside, I am the very picture of Christmas itself, idiotically cheery in giving of my time and self. On the inside, I'd like nothing better than run away from it all.

This time around, things went just about right at every turn. I had the chance to meet up with different friends separately under circumstances that suit their particular preference. A quiet dinner at home with new parents with infant, intimate coffees and lunches with the girlfriends, family outing on parents' day with friends and their pet, a hafla or two in there to meet up with a very special breed of friends.

And on Christmas eve, family dinner at home which included friends with their grown children who are visiting for the holidays.

Every occasion was memorable. Every one was special. Every greeting of well-wishes was sincere.

Making the time to celebrate friendship and family - this, for me, is what makes Christmas a special time of the year.

Holiday greetings

Thinking of you
and wishing all good things
come your way

Have a happy holiday season!

It's a dog's life

The days ahead leading into Christmas and New Year's is going to be a trying period for me.

On a whim, I asked to tag along with suziewong on her "family" day. I am fully aware it is an extremely precious and private day for this very busy professional so I was very grateful when she said yes with no hesitation.

We went to a part of Singapore I have not been to in decades. I recognised nothing of the area. Where there used to be nothing more than small family farms alongside unpaved dirt tracks, the place is now developed into a residential, recreational, light industrial and small business district.

We met at Ah Boy's boarding home, and after a quick bath for the happy mutt, we took off to spend the late afternoon at a prawning facility nearby. The hours spent there were so blissfully peaceful - a content dog asleep at our feet while we sat by the prawn pond with baited fishing line hopeful for a small catch for the day. It was all about a little quiet time and alot of catching up between friends.

We caught nothing. We basically fed the prawns with the bait. But by the time we left, people and pet were rejuvenated in spirit and soul. More ready to deal with the week ahead.

This is the life - even if it is a dog's life. Even if it is just for one day.

About a special friendship

Friendship in any form has to be one of life's greatest gifts. And friendships form oftentimes in the least expected of ways.

I first noticed the young woman about 5 years ago at a couple of bars that featured open mikes. She and I continued to run into each other like that over a 2 year period. We said hi, we sussed up each other with mild interest, we shared mutual friends (and non-friends), but we never really got further acquainted beyond this very casual level.

Just as casually, we stopped going to these bars. So for a while there, we lost sight of each other, in a manner of speaking.

We picked up each other's trail again from our blogs, and a curious thing happened. I feel I have a better understanding of this person's soul, a deeper appreciation of her intellect, and an unshakeable respect for her integrity through her writing.

And just when I thought I have all the insight that there is to have, she surprises me one more time - she snail-mailed me my Christmas card with a personally penned note! Which I find such a charming and gracious tradition of the season.

So, I am moved to let her know how much I appreciate the friendship forged in our unconventional way.

And may you and yours have more "ups than downs" in the new year too.

Kebab Nite@Potpourri

(click on image for larger picture)

Just when we were wondering what to do on the weekend post Christmas and pre New Year's between two haflas, Potpourri and Stephanie came to our rescue.

This promises to be another unforgettable evening of exoticism - drinks, kebabs, shisha and Stephanie.

I-S said so too! So there!

I attended the recent opening of this restaurant. I have been looking out for reviews of the place because I am interested to know if anyone else feel the same bad vibes I did.

I stumbled upon I-S magazine's review this afternoon. So, for those special friends who share my shameless morbid fascination and salacious curiosity about Pyramisa's future after being treated with sordid contempt we did not deserve, read their review here.

I am just sooo impressed with the veracity and honesty of this insightful review.

I feel righteous vindication about saying all the bad stuff after the shabby treatment they gave me.

So there!

Hafla all the way

Belinda's hafla @ Blu Jaz has returned. The upcoming party will be on Saturday 20 December.

Claribel will host a potluck bellydance party on New Year's eve, 9pm to 2am. I can't think of a better way to ring in the New Year.

Flamenco pena @ Los Tarantos

Flamenco circle @ Los Tarantos

Los Tarantos, the fruit of a labour of love, opened its doors last night, as a flamenco haven for all flamenco lovers. Housed in a beautiful Peranakan shophouse, Los Tarantos celebrated its opening with Flamenco y Tapas, a Flamenco pena in which friends and family gathered in an intimate setting to celebrate the beauty of Flamenco with their way of song, music and dance.

Los Tarantos, December 13, 2008

It was a night of festividad. There were so many things to rejoice in this single gathering: the opening of Los Tarantos as a studio and club for flamenco enthusiasts, celebration of the flamenco culture, and maestro Antonio Vargas turned 68.

I have always been in awe of flamenco with its fiery temperament and haughty posture complemented by strong hand flourishes. I admired all this from afar.

The love and passion for flamenco is palpable last night as friends and family danced, laughed and shared the special night.

And for the first time, flamenco came alive for me.

Los Tarantos is located at:
No. 1, Lorong 24A, Geylang Road,
S.398525
Contact: Daphne tel 97420637
email: daphnehml@pacific.net.sg

I'd like to teach the world to sing

After all these years, the "I'd like to buy the world a coke" ad still makes me want to sing along with it.

And I recall a time when I truly believed that harmony - racial, religious, cultural - was possible. The year was 1971.

I look at the headlines these days, and I wonder what went wrong?

This is the 1984 Christmas tree version:

I'd like to buy the world a home
and furnish it with love
Grow apple trees, honey bees
and snow white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a coke
and keep it company
(that's the song I sing)

I'd like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a coke
and keep it company
(It's the real thing)

Zambra, Gypsies and Dance

I was never big on fusion belly dance, but since attending a workshop on Zambra Mora conducted by Flamenco maestro Antonio Vargas, my mind has opened to the fact that fusion adds a whole new dimention to any dance.

I managed to find a short 45 sec sample of the dance Zambra here. There is also a beautiful heavily Indian-influenced drum solo @2.50.

Specifically, I love the genre of belly dance that is Spanish-Arabe performed by the gypsies, like the dance shown below - Danza Fusion Oriental/Gitanos (Fusion Oriental Dance/Gypsies).



I am looking forward to seeing the Zambra Mora performed by Hsiao Min on opening night at Los Tarantos on December 13.

Some evenings are like that

One recent evening ...

Strange how I never realised he talks too loudly with too-frequent punctuation of projectile laughter at nothing funny. But then I had never been around him outside of the bars. And now we are in the girlfriend's home where she had organised what seemed to be a reunion of her favourite barfly uncles.

As the night progressed, he got more and more garrulous, now dredging up names of nefarious characters he remembered while in an inebriated state in the hazy past. I soon gave up trying to be sociable for the evening and left early.

Another recent evening ...

Strange how I never realised she never talks again after the initial hello's. But then I have never been around her outside of a family dinner environment at her sister's home. and now we are in a fancy restaurant having pre-dinner chit chat over cocktails.

By the time we got seated for dinner, her brain had totally shut down so that now she was furiously fluttering her perfectly mascaraed eye-lashes to make her come across as interesting. I soon gave up trying to be sociable with her and turned my attention to the person seated on the other side of me.

Maybe I am already weary from too many get-togethers.

Maybe there are a lot of people who should never be lifted out of their comfort zones - barflies should be left at the bar, home-bodies should be left at home.

Maybe I should just switch off brain, disengage mouth gear and be nicely dumb. There are 3 full weeks more of December parties to get through.

For Kamariah

Kamariah has been keeping vigil by her husband's side for the last couple of days. The lovely, generous and kind man will not be with us much longer.

Those of you who would like to send words of comfort to our dear friend in her hour of sadness, please email me (sinlady@gmail.com) or sms me for her contact number.

I am so sorry, Kamariah.

THIS is a PARTY

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too,
We' gonna celebrate your party with you

Kool and the Gang

The girl knows how to throw a party. She gave the party-goers plenty of everything - food, drinks, laughter and lots of fun.

Most of all, she gave of herself. Throughout the night, she was hostess, singer, dancer, emcee, all the while making sure that we were having a good time.

The cast of talents - family, friends, students and colleagues - made for an unforgettable night of music and dance.

I thought it was especially touching when mother and daughter shared the stage. We can certainly see where the birthday girl got her singing talent.

Well, girlfriend - you gave us a night to remember for a very long time. We hope that you had a fun night too.

November

was the month
- It finally feels natural not having work days in the week.

- I got acquainted with the zambra mora in workshops conducted by the world famous Flamenco master Antonio Vargas. I fell completely under the spell of this beautiful strong dance genre that has its roots Spanish and Moorish gypsy traditions.For Flamenco enthusiasts, the good news is that Antonio Vargas now has a studio in Singapore.

- The women friends looked me up for coffee chats in between their shopping-filled days. It feels so much like the old days as I realise with amusement and tolerance that we are still the same person after all these years. Just less inclined to disagree because it takes too much energy.

- I got around to clearing out the guest bedroom which became the default store room from too many months of non-use.

- The friends have started to call about the holiday get-togethers. I like the frank forward planning and co-operation from this group of people.

- Two special friends had big "0" birthdays. One turned 40, the other 30. They start a special chapter in their lives. I find it hard to believe I followed the ups and downs and twists and turns of their personal and professional lives for almost ten years! So auntie of me *haha*

- I take a deep breath as I look at getting through December, my least favourite month of the year.