Growing old
Growing old has been on my mind of late.
It could be that our government has been busy making plans for us: active lifestyle, longer work years and, eventually, nursing homes here or across the causeway. I get particularly nervous when Singaporeans are told to reflect on how to adapt and adjust to this 'silver tsunami'.
A tsunami is a seismic sea wave; it leaves behind indescribable damage every place it hits. How exactly are we supposed to react to news of tsunamis be they tidal, economic or silver? With dread of course.
I was around old people a lot for many years in my younger days.
I played mahjong with a group of elderly women. This weekly social activity was what they looked forward to. When one of them fell terminally ill, we carried on the weekly game even at the hospital. I felt a happy sadness when it was mentioned at her memorial service how being able to carry on playing mahjong helped her through the darkest moments of end-stage illness.
When I had to put together a fashion show of cheongsams for the Chinese Women's Club, I made sure a particular older woman was in the show. She was really still beautifully regal and elegant, but we were fast losing her as a person to Alzheimer's. It was not easy working her into the show but it was made possible with the help of the other models. Her family video taped the show. And till today, I am happy knowing that a short film exists that shows this special woman - mother, grandmother, aunt, friend - when she looked beautiful one last time for her loved ones to admire.
I have to share my honest opinion about old people: they are a difficult lot to like. They can be cranky, grumpy and impossibly demanding one day, and sweet, caring and co-operative the next. And if you are taking care of them during their illness and end days, the experience can leave you physically exhausted and emotionally drained.
But when I think of what a difference those efforts have made to these people when they were with us, and what beautiful memories they left for their families and friends, I am happy I did what I did when I was able to.
These days, I am still around old people a lot.
And growing old has been on my mind a lot of late.
Because these days, I am practically one of them.
9 comments:
This is a relative concept. I feel "old" among younger colleagues whose naivety I cannot connect with and among friends who are still partying like they are still fresh out of uni. Otherwise, I feel like myself among friends who are at the same life stage or simply like minded friends.
there are plenty to like about old people. to me, at least. :)
growing old is a physical inconvenience. it's the mind you cultivate always. so growing old, is a good thing too.
edpj - there comes a time where biologically speaking, "old" is not relative. trust me.
imp - that's true. i like myself better in my old age too :)
i dun know how to respond to this post. I can only say to the young people...pls treasure your youth, dun take them for granted!
sorry...i mean dun take "it" for granted....u only have ONE chance to be young
suziewong - i think young people do not need nagging that they should have more fun. they doing great as it is already!
Tell me. I work with a lot of old ppl at work. =P
You're young at heart. :) And I do think that the mind and attitude you have towards growing old is very important in dealing with the biological changes. I always disassociate from ppl who sees growing old and the accompany 'inconveniences' as depressing and tragic.
This is so touching....i really agree so much
wildgoose - it's hard sometimes to stay positive you know. anyway, i don't know about young at heart for me. i always think i am older than my years from since i was really young!
bunny - u agree so much what? that i am old? chey!
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