Me and the group

The truth is, I find it difficult to fit in with a group Any group. It's not like I don't want to belong. It's more like I am too different to be a real group member.

I can be on a team and work closely with a group. I can look and make-believe I am with the group. But I never feel I am really one of them.

So, when the dance friends suggested that I joined them to buy lunch for the instructor, I said yes with no hesitation. I've been in class with them about a year, and had never spent time with any of them outside of the dance sessions. I thought it was time I got to know them better.

Lunch should have been a straight-forward affair, right? We order food, we eat, we chat, we pay up, we split.

Well, no. Personality traits, strange beliefs and stranger practices came up.

The ringleader (take note that there is always one in a group) said for everyone to order their favourite dish from the huge menu. (Shades of democracy at play here.) When a dish was suggested, she vetoed the suggestion and offered an alternative. A better choice, she proclaimed. (Power play at work here.) And the others would agree. (Long established pecking order here).

They proclaimed that drinking water during the meal was harmful to one's health. I did not protest; I was trying my best to be one of the group, remember?

Believe me, every grain of rice felt like grit scraping the sides of my throat with every swallow.

They had huge appetites, and it was a delight to see them put away the food. But I really could not eat like them or I'd be zonked out for the rest of the afternoon from carbo overload. So they got on my case about not eating enough rice, which - you guessed it - was going to be detrimental to my health.

Finally, the food part of the meal was over. They ordered their hot coffees, teh's, milo's. I asked for an iced coffee (Please!! Finally, relief for my parched lips and dry throat). They said to me, "Do you know that you will get diabetes from drinking iced coffee?" I really and truly didn't. I also really and truly did not believe them. Besides I really and truly needed my iced coffee.

I got my way. I got my iced coffee. They eyed the melting ice in my glass mug with something between fascination and suspicion.

Well, as with all good things, the lunch had to come to an end. The group split up, meaning I went my way while the rest of them took off to explore the shops together. As a group.

See how I just have difficulty fitting into a group? Any group.