Yes I'm Ready

The long to-do list is mostly done. At least the absolutely necessary ones and the ones that can be taken care of are done.

There is now the packing left. And then, yes, I am ready.

I am looking forward to this trip for many reasons:

- I will be happy to see my longtime friends in the old Californian hometown again. They are a very special lot, always there with a kind word and a helping hand for me.

- I will be visiting New York city for the first time. It never crossed my mind to see the place all the years I lived in California. I guess I always thought I'd get there someday. And then I left the country.

- I look forward to shopping for myself. I love how clothes and shoes sizing fits exactly right regardless of brand. I am a size 6 regular/average/miss for clothes and a size 7 for shoes. I don't need conversion tables to find my size.

- The US, especially California, is a very special place for me. It is where I was allowed to make enough mistakes, be forgiven for them, so that I could grow into who I am.

- It is still home to me, if only in my heart.

Yes, I am ready.

The before and after of a marriage

I am not fond of cynical jokes about marriage, but this one manages to be clever :)

Not my dinner guest

The girlfriend is a busy woman. She is single, holds a full-time job, and has an aged mother living with her.

And she gives dinner parties regularly. Always home-cooked. Always labour intensive. Always done with great deliberation and graciousness.

At the end of one of her dinner parties, I find myself in the lift with another of the evening's guests. For small social chit-chat, I said that was so nice of the hostess to have gone through so much trouble for us. The guest gruffly replied, "Oh, it's nothing. She needed to de-stress by cooking."

I was shocked and dismayed by her total dismissal of the friend's effort and hospitality.

Thankfully, we reached the ground floor, and I need not say anything more.

Hopefully, I need not see her again.

Definitely, I will never see her at my dining table eating my home-cooked meal which I had expended time and effort to lay out.

Suji - still a good idea

It really seemed like a good idea at the time.

I was baking suji cookies and happily passing them out to the ladies at my folkdance class.

I got a kick out of their surprise and pleasure.

They then asked if I would make the cookies for them over Chinese New Year. They'd be very grateful because suji is simply hard to come by. That was long before there was any hint that I'd travelling anytime around January or February. So happily I said yes, it would be my pleasure.

Of course I will now be travelling. And the ladies were self-consciously saying that while they would be so happy to have the suji cookies for Chinese New Year, they totally understand I wouldn't have the time now.

It is true that I am somewhat pressed for time. But I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I am sorry that things have changed and I'd make it up to them after I got back.

So, I have been busy the last few days baking suji cookies. They got delivered to the ladies today. And it was gratifying to see their glee all over again.

So, in spite of spending a precious chunk of my time on this, it is still a good idea today.

The coat

It's four days before my flight to the US.

The clothes and accessories I will bring are largely decided. The indecision is which overcoat I will need - the full length wool or the trench coat.

I don't need either in the Pacific north-west. The temperature there will be between low single digit and mid double digit C. The uncertainty hinges on the weather in NY, NY.

I have been monitoring the weather forecast for the past two weeks. My judgement call is that by the time I am in NY on the 5th of February, low temperature in NY will be between -1 to -3C.

With the clothes that I can layer on, I have finally decided that the iconic London Fog trench coat will do me fine.

Finally. Decision made.

Every other piece of clothing will fall nicely in place. Heh!

Cairo! Cairo! 2010

Yes! she is finally coming to Singapore! and Yes! I am going!

It will also be a reunion of sorts with the belly dance friends I have not seen in a very long time.
Tickets for Cairo! Cairo! 2010 (March 2) are available at SISTIC.

Workshops by Dina, Doaa Sallam and Ibrahim El Suezi run 3 to 5 March. Please contact Claribel for details.

Belly dance bazaar by Mahmoud Abdel Ghaffar, owner of the biggest bellydance costume and accessory shop at Khan El Khalili will be set up at Claribel's studio February 27 to March 1, and at Victoria Theatre March 2 to 5.

Why men cheat

It's the sex, stupid.

Men who cheat on their wives mentioned in the article include actor Jude Law, former US President Bill Clinton, footballer Ashely Cole, talkshow host David Letterman and golf superstar Tiger Woods.

It could have been an interesting read on why men cheat. Instead, the three men interviewed for their story gave lame reasons: my wife and I were not getting along (duh), she and I worked in the same industry (duh), I am surrounded by groupies because I am an entertainer (duh).

All three eventually ended their affairs and stayed with their partners.

But I take exception to the juvenile way they tell their stories:

1. "We went out for meals and did that thing which happens between couples behind closed doors". (Really? What thing?)

2. "My wife has no clue". (Really?)

3. "I just find it hard to curb my physical needs." (Really?)

These men who drivelled their childish stories should be compared to the men at the start of the article who had been raked over the coals by the frenzied media and blood-lusty feminists?

When at no time did the men ever even acknowledged it's the sex, stupid?

Paul Ropp January 2010

It gets more tempting, but I still don't have the time to make it. And I will keep wondering what I might have missed.
p.s. They do make beautiful posters :)

Special People, Dear Friends

I am a fairly independent person. Truly I am. I try not to have to inconvenience people. Truly I do.

But there are times when I need help. And it is so good to know what steadfast friends I have, even the ones who are separated from me by time and distance.

The lot in Bakersfield (where?) are sterling. One offers to make the 2 hour drive over the grapevine to pick us up from LAX and drive us into town (a hard four hour turnaround drive). I absolutely refused this very kind offer. We will drive ourselves into town; we need a car locally in town anyway (they offer use of their car too). And the man will get his GPS to navigate ourselves out of LAX to get on the northbound I-5 and Hwy 99.

Another insists we stay with her for the four nights in town, saying everyone of my friends are within a two-mile radius from her and it will make her happy if we were her guests. That is hard to turn down. I graciously accepted.

I will clear out the storage facility I have maintained the past 10 years. There are furniture I have to dispose of. A third friend will ask around to see who the furniture can go to. That will be a big help.

I also make mention of two other people here who have been so helpful : my former colleague who unfailingly prints my hotel/travel reservations (I have no home printer yet) and a special friend I have not seen in years for her invaluable information on New York City.

I *heart* all you special people.

Paul Ropp 2010

Hi My VIP Friend,

You are invited to Paul Ropp Factory Sale

19th January 2010 for VIP only,

Start @ 9 am to 05 pm

Location :

PAUL ROPP FACTORY

Jl. Pengubengan No.1X

Kerobokan

Hope You have room in Your closet!!

Thankfully, sometimes decisions are already made for me. I have to give this a miss because it is too close to my leaving for the US and there are too many things to take care of beforehand.

I hope they have a good sale day. I wonder what I have missed out on.

To freeze or not to freeze

The upcoming trip to the US gets convoluted because we will be travelling to 3 different places.

The man will get his way - he will get the GPS so that we can navigate our way out of LAX to get on the northbound I-5 for the 100-mile drive over the grapevine into Bakersfield.

It's the cold weather. Friends have been telling us to be sure we have adequately warm clothes for Seattle, Bakersfield and New York city. Especially New York city. I have in my mind that we will be looking at temperatures of single digit C degree, so what's the fuss?

I finally thought to check the weather. Seattle and Bakersfield are, as expected, between 2 and 9 C. But NYC! Its been -2 to -6. And historically, it stays that way through February!

I thought of the many times I've been saying I'd sooner freeze than be caught wearing those warm puffy padded coats and a beanie. I feel my resolve weakening as I think of sub zero temperatures. Maybe I will be made to eat my words this time. But I am really loathe to not look stylish because of inclement weather.

I look for my full-length wool winter coat, scarf and padded gloves to see me through the cold. It really has to get to double digit sub-zero before I will look at puffy coat and beanie. Or, just maybe, I will stay true to form and choose to freeze...

Waiting for her memoir (not)

I was actually quite interested when she told me of her aspiration to write, and has actually signed up for a writing course.

Of course, I had to ask: she was going to write with a view to what?

I want to write my memoir to leave as a legacy to my children, came her instant reply.

Memoir? Politicians, business leaders, prostitutes and the like write memoirs. Technically speaking, a memoir is a narration of one's career rather than one's private life.

She has been a homemaker, wife and mother since she married. And not even a particularly admirable one in any of these sub-roles.

And she hasn't exactly read or written much of anything, if at all. (She doesn't read my blog but that's not the point).

With the smile frozen on my face, I carried on listening to her as if anything she said made sense.

I have given what she said quite a lot of thought. I really do admire anybody's aspirations to write. The quality of writing, form, medium, reason, target readership matter little.

But I am not putting money on this project ever coming to fruition. I am not even betting on the first paragraph to ever be put on paper.

Planning a trip

The man and I have been putting together our itinerary for the US. We are working out transfers and accommodation for Seattle(the kid is there on a short stint), Bakersfield (where?) and New York City (yes!).

He is already getting the jitters thinking of
- the long haul to Seattle,
- the drive out of LAX to Bakersfield,
- the long haul back to Singapore.

I am excited about seeing the very good friends I left behind in Bakersfield. The long flight to and fro does not bother me. And I think so long as one is able to drive, travel within the US is not a difficult thing.

I know what I am looking forward to, in a country I am fairly familiar with, in towns and cities that are completely do-able. He will lose sleep over the unnecessary and the unvoidable.

It has everything to do with attitude, dude.

December

was the month
- I did the most baking of any other time I can think of in recent history. It was a real pleasure to rediscover the therapeutic value of baking. And an even greater joy to see the happiness on friends' faces when presented with the finished product.

- I must have voiced my frustration at some of my baking attempts so much that fellow blogger and friend Bunny pointed me to her friend's delightful baking blog. My baking skills and ambition is nowhere near this woman's - hers is the type of creation that puts a BIG smile on anyone's face:)

- I finally found the resolve to "dump" people who frustrate me with their selfish and unkind words and deeds. I don't think they even know that they cease to matter to me. I don't think it matters to them anyway.

- I had the most number of dinners with and for friends. It is good to see them again.

- I closed out the year with a much better and healthier frame of mind and celebrated the end of another year with close friends and family who made me who I am.

I wish every one of my readers a very happy 2010.