The real story of the Lion King

Of all creatures in the animal kingdom, the lion captures the imagination of alpha males of the homo sapiens species.

The lion is handsome guy, big and powerful. He is served by the females in the pride who do the hunting and raise his cubs. The King spends most of his days laying on his back, soaking up the sun and airing his balls. This is the life, and the natural roles for males and females.

But that's just half the story. The lion king chases out the male cubs when they are half grown, who then join other lone males to form bachelor bands. These young males now cruise the land, looking for a pride to take over from the established male. There will be skirmishes, and usually the old boy is able to scare off the boys by posturing and growling. But eventually, the boys will actually engage the old lion and in the confrontation that follows, the old boy will likely be injured and chased out. He usually dies soon after from starvation because of injuries which make hunting impossible.The young victors will then fight among themselves, and the last one standing is now king of the pride.

What follows is gruesome - the new male proceeds to kill the cubs; the females are not strong enough to successfully defend their young. Now the young king has truly established himself as king of his pride, and a new batch of cubs will soon be born. And life goes on until he grows old and is in turn challenged by bachelor bands to dethrone him.

I love telling this story at dinners where there are insufferable male chauvinists. Yes, the lion pride epitomizes the natural order of gender roles. Heh.