She's Singapore's finest

I am around my parents a lot these past weeks because of father's medical condition. My sister has taken on the task of ferrying them to the hospital and be with them for the tests, then waiting and finally getting to see the doctor. I have taken it upon myself to meet them at the hospital to give the sister some respite from mother's incessant meaningless yammering.

Mother has recently taken to repeating ad nauseum the analogy of how a flower has to naturally bloom to be beautiful; if one tries to pry the flower open, the petals will just drop off. She thought the sister and I were like these naturally blooming flowers (because we are on hand to do the necessary?)

I bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting in her face: "Are you mad? You have alienated everybody. There is no one left to see you through these bad times. We are your daughters. What else can we do? Do we actually have a choice?"

I looked at the sister. I saw vexation written all over her face. After a beat, resignation set in. She turned to mother and calmly asked, "Ah then?"

I looked at the sister with renewed respect. So pragmatic. So to the point. So Singapore born and bred, schooled and trained.

I thought to myself: This woman, surely, has to be one of Singapore's finest!

Coffee with the Imp

Many years ago, we would see each other at the few smokey pokey pubs and clubs. So smokey that even the smokers had to step out for a breath of air; so pokey (no pun intended) that sharp elbow jabs stab into your rib cage all night long.We would exchange a smile and a wave, occasionally we managed a quick catchup over the din.

It was just that kind of a place so we had just that kind of a acquaintance.

At some point, I quit the scene. And I sort of followed her comings and goings through the grapevine.

Then I came to know about her blog, and quietly followed it for a while. Where I had once thought her intelligent, I now come to appreciate the breadth and depth of that intelligence, and her critical open mindedness about things she is not certain about.

At some point, we decided to meet up again because, well, it seemed like a good idea. We finally did.

I am happy she made the time to meet me. I see in her everything I already expected. And more, much more.

I see a beautiful, confident, caring and insightful young woman. Someone I am happy to have met and kept in touch with. I wish for her a life filled with meaningful endeavours. I know she will have that.

Even if I had first met her in some smokey pokey pub :)

bye, bye, dress

Remember this dress? Remember I said I absolutely, definitely, resolutely, hated it? I could find nothing to like about the dress; I even called it hideous.

Well, I don't anymore. Hate it, that is. Somebody is buying it off me. And all of a sudden, I feel a tinge of guilt that I was not nice to it.

But I know the new owner will sayang it. So bye bye dress. You will look so pretty on the nice lady.

I will miss you from time to time.

SinLady, Happy Birthday

Sometime in my early 20s, I stopped celebrating my birthday. I learn to avoid mentioning my birthday so that over the years, people start to forget about the day.

It isn't that I don't want to celebrate my birthday with friends; I just find it terribly awkward to walk into a party that celebrates ME.

I took to looking up certain special people in my birthday month, and ask them out for a quiet dinner or coffee. To have some "only for ourselves" time again. Some sort of renewal and re-affirmation of all that is good in our lives, you know.

Because of the recent sad medical news of father, I have been keeping a low profile this time. I just do not have the energy or enthusiasm to look up anybody. I had in fact cancelled a few engagements because I didn't want to put a damper on our meeting. You know who you are, and I appreciate your understanding. I will see you again in happier times.

But, some friends gave me a birthday do anyway. And to you, I say Thank You. For the friendship you give me. For the thoughtfulness you show me. For the happy times to remember.
p.s. check out what's written on the cake! I love it!!!

She's back

I never expect to hear from her again.

I was wrong. She emailed me, asking if I remembered her, asking how we are, it's been a l-o-n-g while since we last heard from each other, do we still go to Bali, to Paul Ropp etc.

As if the unpleasant incident about trying to borrow money from me never happened!

She tells me she and husband are back in Bali, he has retired from work, and she has a rental villa available whenever we next visit Bali. Out of curiosity, I looked up the other villa that was to have been put up for sale all those years ago when she desperately needed money. It's still there, available for rent by contacting her or her husband.

So, I replied to her saying yes, I remember her, we are fine, it's been a long time, we still go to Bali and to Paul Ropp.

And, yes, I'll let her know when next I visit Bali.

You know I will do no such thing.

FON people

It has been one week of bringing Father for tests, waiting for reports to be written, waiting for the team of doctors to confer. It will be next week before we will meet with the oncologist.

During this time I have some angry moments and some regretful thoughts as the mind reaches into dark recesses and cruelly yanks out long repressed memories. Mostly, I am able to keep my emotions in check, and get through each day with as little upset as possible.

I need my equilibrium. I cannot spare any emotion to tackle nonsense right now.

I also welcome diversion that allows me to focus on happier matters. So when the makan crew woman suggested getting together for dinner at their favourite Hokkien restaurant, I said yes. Then she said to limit the per head cost to $40/-. Then she suggested we order fewer dishes. Then she said if I have friends who are not budget conscious (what did she mean, really?) please invite them.

Like I said, I welcome diversion of an enjoyable kind. I am not about to take on planning a menu for a table of 10 with tight budget constraints and be told I have extravagant taste and friends.

With no hesitation, I told her to leave me out of the dinner arrangement for now. I have too much on my mind to deal with petty details over a casual dinner date.

I don't need to deal with people who are FON (full of nonsense). Especially now.

May

was the month
I will remember as a turning point in my life.

For most of the month, I was in the US/Canada. I remember again the many attributes I love about the people: the optimism, the open heartedness, the willingness to believe you and believe in you. I benefited from this supportive environment; I become this person today because of it.

Within 24 hours of coming back, I got a phonecall from Mother with the first devastating news of Father. Now come the tests and workups. Now come so many people with so many opinions - most of whom I dislike and distrust, others are disappointing and distracting.

Through this, I am grateful for the support of the few, and for knowing myself.

A snowy kind of May

It was a good time to make a side-trip to the resort town of Banff in the Canadian Rockies. There was snow everywhere - on the rugged mountain slopes, on the ground, on roof tops. I loved the feel of the sun on my face even as I bundled up against the cold cold wind that blew throughout the day.

It was too early for the full invasion of clueless and mindless tourists. I shamelessly and openly gawped at the few out-of-season tourists doing the usual bizarre stuff that clueless and mindless tourists do. Like having their pictures taken standing on thin ice next to the sign that said "Caution - Thin Ice". Like lying on the snow striking a pose that resembled a sit-up.

I walked away from the jarring people, blocking them out of my mind's eye.

I gave myself over to the sheer beauty and majesty of the surrounding rugged mountains and backcountry wilderness.

I want to remember the smell of alpine meadows on a day in May. I want to remember that I was happy and at peace with myself.

Asian Foods of Vancouver

Vancouver is the most Asianized metropolis in North America.

I stayed in Burnaby, an eastern suburb of Vancouver; I could have been in any Chinese city. The place is very Asian. Specifically, it is very Chinese.

The best eats in town is Asian. So, for the few days that I stayed at the Hilton in the Metrotown neighbourhood of Burnaby, it was Asian meals 80% of the time.
Just for you, imp, for asking: here is the obligatory sriracha chilli sauce found in every Asian restaurant in North America.
Our Alaskan King Crab dinner deserves special mention. For starters, this is my first real Alaskan King Crab meal. The monster crab was obscenely huge at 5.5kg. It was served up 3 different ways: we had steamed crab legs, battered and fried crab meat, and egg/crab fried rice.
Definitely, Asian food is the way to go when in Burnaby-Vancouver.

Food culture of Bakersfield

Many good things about Bakersfield never change - stuffing one's face with food followed by ice cream made the old fashioned way is one of them.

This town may be off the radar screen of most food reviewers, but I love the good old honest downhome vibe of these places :)

Noriega's

Noriega's Restaurant is the oldest Basque boardinghouse and restaurant in the world; it has just been honored as an American classic by the James Beard Foundation.

A Place to Bask in Basque Culture covers the Noriega experience beautifully.

Luigi's

Another Bakersfield classic, always busy, noisy, friendly and happy to see you again. Their BBQ beef sandwich is as good as I remembered it to be. Luigi's just celebrated their 100th anniversary with 5000 happy hungry Bakersfield residents :)

Buck Owen's Crystal Palace

It's at once a stage, show venue, dance hall, restaurant, museum, country store. And much much more. Like it says in the video, even if you are not a fan of anything country and western, you should still come see for yourself at least once. I will have you know cowboy food done well is a culinary experience in a league on it's own.

Dewar's

And finally, like Huell Howser says, "No trip to Bakersfield is complete without a visit to Dewar's".

Mahjong and Satay

They tell me when I left town, I left two "foreign" experiences to remember me by.

The first is mahjong, which they continue to play one afternoon a week. They tell me the weekly game cemented their friendship over the years.

The other is satay which I made for them before there were Singapore/Malaysian/Indonesian restaurants in California; before pre-mixes for satay marinade and peanut sauce were available in Asian grocery stores. They tell me they have not tasted satay that come close to what I make.

Now that I was in town, could I do satay dinner one night? And this time, one of them was tasked to learn the recipe.

Mahjong, with satay on the side. That's my contribution to this group of friends in this town.

I am proud of that :)

Special People

My visit to the US is all about seeing the special people again who played a role as friend and mentor, shaping me into who I am today: someone I like.

I hope to be able to visit often, and look forward to many home dinners, just like the old days.

Goodbye #2003

The storage unit measured 10x15 ft. Crates and boxes stayed stacked from floor to ceiling in #2003 for 10 years. I tried to clear and close down the facility a year ago, but there was just too many details that could not be worked out.

It would have been the same again this time, if not for the immeasurable amount of help extended to me by a very special couple.

With their generous help in the form of physical labour, local knowledge and unquestioning willingness to accommodate every request I asked of them, I finally and certainly put this 10 year burden behind me.

I ended up with a shipment of 5 small cartons containing a lifetime of bittersweet memories coming with me.

Everything else have found loving new homes and owners.

One of the most difficult items I had to leave behind is this piece of serious toy, made all the more difficult because I know I will never own another again.

It is now in the hands of a really good and responsible man, the only person I wanted to be its new owner.
And so, I start making and storing memories again. In another place. With another man.

The miles fly by

Long flights - my threshold is anything >5 hours - are brutal on the body and soul.

I remember the old days when the only reason airlines fed their passengers at all is sustenance, and movie entertainment involved contorting body and craning neck to get some view of the pull down movie screen in the front of cabin. I remember packing my own meal and picking up magazines at the departure newstand for fortification to make it through the tortuous hours in the air.

Inflight menu and entertainment have come a very long way for front and back of plane. These days, I give myself over to the airline's menu selection and actually look forward to being surprised at how well the food is prepared and presented.

And oh, the luxury of movies-on-demand. So you can watch what you want when you want. I am not much of a movie person, but there is always something watchable, maybe even enjoyable, in the selection of Hollywood blockbusters and other language offerings.

This time, The Tourist lay it on me thick with an endless visual treat of a good looking cast and set location. And afterwards, I sat through Anthony Zimmer to relive the experience in French.

And so, the miles fly by.

Seattle-Singapore

The month long visit to North America finally comes to an end. I leave tomorrow morning 11am from Seattle (2am Friday SG time) for the long flight home.

I am always happy to be in the US.

The biggest event was I managed to finally clear out and close down the storage facility I had kept for the last 10 years. With the help of a very good friend, its contents are now suitably re-situated in ways that does justice to the happy memories they have given me.

I spent equal time in Bakersfield, Vancouver and Seattle. There are many things I love in each place, but if I ever lived again in this continent, I would still return to Bakersfield, and visit every place and every one from there.

More on my thoughts and feelings about this place when I am back...

...the wind sure blows cold...

I've always heard it rains a lot in the Pacific North West. I now can attest to that fact.

We left Bakersfield April 30. That was the last we saw the sun.

We've been in Seattle and then Vancouver and Calgary-Banff. We are now back in Vancouver, and will leave on Friday for Seattle again.

I exaggerate not, but it has been rain and gray skies 80% of the time we are here. There has been even a day of snow in Banff! In May!! It isn't miserably cold, but having to be bundled up all the time is getting to me. I want to see myself in pretty skinny clothes once in a way, alright?

But that will have to wait till I get back to Singapore in 10 days' time. For the next week and half, I will live in my pile of clothes.

Like they say in a song, "... the wind sure blows cold way out there ..."

ps I think I need only post one picture of me for this entire trip since I have my leather jacket on every time.

On the road

Short update on my whereabouts:

The man and I were in Seattle after Bakersfield. We then left for Vancouver (more accurately, Burnaby). Four days of being around overseas Chinese was enough to make me grateful for a break away in Banff Alberta.

Banff is beautiful in an almost-alpine way. And as if to prove I am right, it is snowing (yes, SNOWING) this morning, in May!

I don't know that we are up to doing the Lake Louise drive, or take the gondola up Sulphur Mountain in the snow. And staying indoors in a log cabin styled hotel room isn't a bad idea.

I can decide all that in a while more. For now, I am happy to check on email and news snippets online.

More to come.

April

was the month
I went back to Bakersfield at the right time.

All the friends were home. Even the ones who now live outside of Bakersfield came home for the week.

The days were a crisp 20C. Wisps of cloud softened the bright sunny skies with pillowy patterns.

I accomplished two important tasks this time in Bakersfield.

1. I met up with the two special women. The 15 or 16 years melted away as we asked after each other and about the significant people in each others' lives. I am just grateful to manage this start to reacquainting with friends I left behind.

2. I cleared and closed the storage unit! (more of this later).

Believe it or not, I actually hated to leave this town that I once couldn't wait to flee.

Either time does indeed heal all wounds, or time distorts history. It doesn't matter; I have my reasons for loving the place now.

Remembering old acquaintances

I am all set for the US and Canada.

I look forward to being in California again. And seeing the old friends. Maybe even manage an afternoon of mahjong with them, for old times' sake.

There are two people in the old hometown I will see again for the first time in 10 years. One is my former employer, who gave me my first job in the US. The other was the editor of our Chinese community newsletter; I was the feature writer of the newsletter for a full cycle of the Chinese horoscope (Rat year 1984 to Pig year 1995). Both women are special to me: if not for their wise counsel, I would never have grown into the person I am today.

There are many more people who have stepped into my life and made me a better person for having made their acquaintance. But I can only do so much each time, and I want to spend enough time with each one to make the reacquainting meaningful.

So, with a little more grace and patience, I will come around to seeing everybody who touched my heart and enriched my life, at least one more time...

RTFM

I am busy finalising my travel plans.

My favourite premier carrier tells me that my scheduled return flight has been cancelled and they have rescheduled me to return one day early.

Well, I can return later, not earlier.

A trip to their service centre is necessary since a phone call will only get me through to a call centre hell in some foreign land.

I expect to have the flight change resolved within 10 minutes. I am dealing with a multi award-winning industry leader in its home country after all.

But noooo. The representative I was assigned blithely informed me (1) I could only be wait-listed on the flight that stops over at Narita, and 2) I could get on the direct flight by paying $75.00 for making the change.

In exasperation, I turned to her colleague in the next cubicle and started to whole process of presenting my case.

A few strokes on her keyboard and the change was effected. No fuss, no muss.

The first representative stared daggers at me.

I wanted to yell at her: "Hey stupid. RTFM, will you? You don't penalise your passenger traveling in any category when you cancel the flight, never mind a full-paying business class passenger."

But I looked into the stupid stubbornness in her eyes, and decided to ignore her instead.

I have many more things that require my attention before I leave in a couple of days...