She's Singapore's finest

I am around my parents a lot these past weeks because of father's medical condition. My sister has taken on the task of ferrying them to the hospital and be with them for the tests, then waiting and finally getting to see the doctor. I have taken it upon myself to meet them at the hospital to give the sister some respite from mother's incessant meaningless yammering.

Mother has recently taken to repeating ad nauseum the analogy of how a flower has to naturally bloom to be beautiful; if one tries to pry the flower open, the petals will just drop off. She thought the sister and I were like these naturally blooming flowers (because we are on hand to do the necessary?)

I bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting in her face: "Are you mad? You have alienated everybody. There is no one left to see you through these bad times. We are your daughters. What else can we do? Do we actually have a choice?"

I looked at the sister. I saw vexation written all over her face. After a beat, resignation set in. She turned to mother and calmly asked, "Ah then?"

I looked at the sister with renewed respect. So pragmatic. So to the point. So Singapore born and bred, schooled and trained.

I thought to myself: This woman, surely, has to be one of Singapore's finest!

December

was the month
filled with festive cheer and celebration.

I coped well with the cooking and baking duties for the many dinner parties by refusing to over-extend myself. I was surprised, and then pleased and grateful, that I stayed pain-free through the busy month of cook-by-day and party-by-night.

I am happy to see the friends who took time from their block-leave for coffee. I am happy to have time with friends who came through here on their holiday tour of Asia. And I am happy that on the last day of the year, I was with friends and family to see another good year out, and wish for them that the new year will be good to them.

And somewhere in the back of my mind, I am aware that I have not seen or heard from Mother this whole month. And then, as quickly as the thought came to the fore for the moment, it got pushed right back to oblivion.

For this shall remain the month of festive cheer and celebration.

March

was the month

Princeton Art Museum

- I did not hear from mother. I said to the sister she's either too busy rumour mongering to more sympathetic ears, or she has totally forgotten about me. The sister says its the former. I don't know how I feel about that, and decided it doesn't matter.

- A handful of old friends found me on FB. I am surprised I am not simply forgotten. One of them was my collaborator for the small community newsletter I wrote for, edited, and published. The other is currently doing my job. I am happy to know the newsletter is still alive. They are arranging for past copies to be sent to me. Words cannot express how touched I am about their graciousness.

- I am happy to see an old friend back in town for a short visit - and happier to learn she has written a second book. I admire her for turning adversity to advantage.

- The man is itching again to "go somewhere". It's only been 5 weeks since we got back and have only just settled into our routine! But I am not complaining. I have never been to Tokyo and Osaka.

October

was the month
- I got re-acquainted with people I drifted away from years ago. For the most part, I am very happy to have come full circle and be with people whom I've shared so much history. I am unsure about my feelings regarding a couple of them though.

- I realised that there is a direct correlation between insanity and intelligence. (Think Dr. Hannibal Lecter). What is chilling to me is that I finally understand and believe that the insane mind is many times more intelligent than the sane.

- I made the most hideous lemon meringue pie imaginable. All three parts of the pie - baked pie crust, lemon filling, and meringue - were inedible. And to think I used to be able to bake that pie practically with one hand tied behind my back! A sympathetic friend offered that humidity has to be accounted for. So what is it I was to do about that factor she did not offer. Sigh. Time to refresh basic pie making skills.

- I had two crank calls from Mother, and one crank call from her daughter-in-law. I actually managed to file the experience into the "no action required" compartment of my brain. It did not stop me from being agitated and irritated with the two of them for several days after though.

- It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at the shopping malls. Soon Christmas carols will fill the air. Oh joy.

August

was the month
- when travel plans finally started to fall in place.

- when we decided to we make a mini trip to Bali for the Paul Ropp sale.

- when we got together with friends to make concrete plans for travel to Paris-Lyon, then cover several towns in Provence.

- when Mother called me twice. Each time she dominated the entire phone conversation prattling on and on about what's happening in the lives of people I don't know.

- when my sister called to let me know she took the parents out to dinner and she never opened her mouth once the entire evening. And the parents never noticed.

- when the sister too has reached the end of her wits in trying to be a dutiful daughter trying to do the right thing with the cranky and crazy old people we call parents.

- when I got to see several friends who were visiting. Some of them I was so happy to see again; others I was not so thrilled but I did it out of a sense of obligation.

- when I was reminded all over again how important it is to have good people to count on and good friends to trust in times of need.

February

was the month
- the holiday season finally ended. I can get back to a more normal pace of living.

- I had an epiphany: I have lousy friends. Having admitted to myself that some people are just not worth wasting time and effort on, I have now moved on. I appreciate my other friends even more. My equilibrium is restored.

- I first heard the expression "happy like bird" . Of all the uniquely Singaporean idioms, I love this the best :) "Happy like toad" comes a close second.

- I had an unexpected call from Mother one afternoon. Even more unexpected was that I was not the target of her verbal and emotional assault. This time, it was my brother. The one who lived with the parents for the last 7 years during which time they have had many confrontations of significant seismic proportions. There will be a few more aftershocks to come, then calm will return. Until the next confrontation. That's just life with Mother.

- my blog got spammed by commercial sites! I had to delete the spam comments one by single one. I now make it a practice to disable comments to older posts as a precaution against future attacks.

- I will start on making fun plans for the rest of the year.

Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, I did nothing much of anything except try to recover from the Night before Christmas.

On the second day of Christmas, I braved the shopping crowd and went into town to have a late lunch with a special friend and ally from the bellydance clique. We spent the rare occasion catching up with girlie gossip and left each other reinforced with the certainty that we righted every wrong.

I even felt brave enough to do a home hair colour job on my tortured hair which has turned a truly yucky yellow-orange. My hair is now a less yucky violet red if any body wants to spot me by hair colour.

On the third day of Christmas, my mother rang. There went my feel-good of the season for the day. Dang!