Tuesday, June 01, 2010


was the month
- I caught myself having to work at not slipping into a funk.

The reasons seem trivial.

There was having to sit at the same dinner table with the old broad. She gave me her "I'm so cool I can say hi to you" smile. I glared at her, air kissed the other women, and sat where I was buffered from her by 2 people. Ten years of repressed animosity toward her was not going to turn into sparkling angel dust just because she turned her smile in my general direction. I want her acknowledgement of her wrong doing (no, it's not over the whisper of a rumour about my face); I want her unreserved apology; then I want to carry on having nothing to do with her.

There was Mother and the conversation I endured which left me so agitated that I had 2 sleepless nights after. I will leave this doozie of a story for another time.

There was the realization that I still have a long list of worthless friends. Seeing them brings no joy; it's just work. I want to retire from this form of work.

- I am glad the month is over. It's like I leave the funk behind when May ended.

I can start anew in June.


tuti said...

i have maybe only one friend.
it is less tiring than having to bear with all the forced smiles. i am comfortable in my own skin too. so i have two friends i guess. me and another.

i hope june brings you nice things. :)

sinlady said...

tuti - thanks :) i am fine.

wildgoose said...

June is a month of celebration, isn't it? ;) It will be great.

Anonymous said...

agree with WG, June will be a better month! Get away from toxic people for a while ~ maybe another trip? ;) - EDPJ

sinlady said...

wildgoose - waiting for you to get back!

edpj - going bali in mid june, can you believe it?