Here comes the bride

Dinner conversation was going nowhere.

Until...

The conversation turned to the wedding of the woman whom I detest intensely. Delicious and malicious gossip was aplenty.

She has put on a tremendous amount of weight, something like an additional 10 to 15 kgs to the original 100 kgs. She could not walk in high heels, so she resorted to waddling down the aisle on flats. She had ordered two wedding gowns online, and the one she managed to squeeze into was splitting at the seams in protest. Her makeup was her usual kabuki white mask, black circled eyes and too-red lips, but applied with industrial strength intensity for her special day.

The groom, previously described as a quiet man, was now an unhappy quiet man at the wedding. And he was so tiny next to her. In my mind's eye, I saw a desperate-looking doomed drone trapped beside an out-sized queen termite in bridal white.

I am fully aware that it is not the done thing to take gleeful delight in hearing mean things being said of anyone. But about her, I can always make an exception and feel no guilt allowing the baser side of me to surface.

And in taking irresponsible and irrational pleasure in blogging about this puerile rumour to keep it for posterity, I sink to a new low.

Heh.