This Christmas

when I was small, and christmas trees were tall
do do do do do do do do do ...


don't ask me why, but time has passed us by
someone else moved in from far away ...

Don't ask me why, but this Bee Gees hit kept playing in my head. I don't even really know what it's trying to say, like so many other Bee Gees songs. Doesn't stop me from liking it though.

I feel the usual year end blah taking over. I feel this way every year, no matter where I am, no matter what I do. I have come to accept it.

Christmas is not my favourite holiday season. And this year, for the first time in the six years I have been back, I did not pick up the phone to call my friends in California on their Christmas Eve afternoon.

Because they would be too busy getting ready for their dinner.

Because I miss them especially during this time of the year.

Because they are there and I am here and that is that.

So instead, I choose to remember them in my heart.

Along with the friends who are not faring well because of illness.

And others who are no longer with us.

This Christmas, I prefer to remember my friends in the old hometown quietly. In my heart.