Bad Pennies and Bad People

Like the proverbial bad penny, they keep showing up.

The old boy of the dread couple from KL sent us an invitation to his 70th birthday in a stuffy country club in Penang, attire "as formally as you like." I suspect many of us are reluctant invitees who still remember vividly how painful his birthday party was the year before. So, as ungracious as it is, many of us declined the invitation. We should feel properly awful that he threw a party and no one came. But we couldn't bear to be tortured again so soon, you understand.

Then I get an email from the screwball woman back in the US telling me how "although we are so very far away, you are very near in my thoughts." She will be "coming to Singapore in February next year for a vacation and hope to be able to see each one of you while I am there." Sigh. I can still hope that she loses all our phone numbers...

You know how the saying goes that bad things come in three's?

I don't think I can deal with her, or her, or them.

I am sure there is no truth whatsoever to the silly saying. It is silly!

Answer to Her Love Affair

She married the new love; she decided she could not hurt this man who has been so good to her and for her all these years.

I still don't know who I would have chosen. What about you?

I feel good

I feel good these past weeks. Literally, physically, mentally, I just feel the best I have felt in a very long time.

The aches and pains in my joints have been minimal; some days they are almost absent.

I can actually really dance again. Sadly I will never be able to do dances like Hawaiian hula that demand very deep knee bends and beautifully articulate hand movements. But hey, I can return to Middle Eastern dance which has always been my first love...

My hair has stopped falling out by the handful; in fact I managed to grow my hair long again. The natural curl in my hair is beautiful; so many people have been telling me they love the perm :)

I also just found that I can use eau de toilette! I used to get severe burns from contact with scent in any form.

I know these are small things in the bigger picture of LIFE. But they are the luxuries that make life that much more enjoyable. And I am happy to be acutely aware of them in my waking moments, so that I can be fully appreciative of these good times while I live them.

It is just so good to feel good again.

In the silence

I don't hear from her in ages. Then she pops up in chat starting to ask how/what I am doing. I am not up to chatting or yakking. I said all is good at my end, and everything about me is updated in FB and blog, and logged out.

She left me a rambling message - something about my being many years younger and do not understand her feelings about things.

I replied reminding her I am all of two years younger. I am not thrilled either about being in my late 50s and if I don't understand her feelings about things, it's because she did not tell me what these things are.

Silence from her since.

In the quiet of silence, I wonder how I can stand to carry on with such so lacking in eruditeness, eloquence and elegance.

And in the quiet of silence, the answer came to me crisp and crystal clear - I cannot.

Drop or Pick up New Friends

At first the couple looked like they are people to chum around with. Like us, they are not tethered to jobs, half grown kids or elderly ailing parents. Like us, they travel at leisure for leisure and explore novel dining experiences.

Then we find we like them less each time we see them:

They ask intrusive questions like "How long have you two been married?"
They ask intrusive questions like "So how long actually have you two been married?" every time we see them.
They ask intrusive questions of our friends like "How can your friend go build an inn in LiJiang?"
And keep doggedly asking the same questions each time we see them.

We and our friends do not have lives that cannot stand up to scrutiny, but we value discretion and privacy. We do not feel we need to disclose everything; we certainly do not need to answer questions that we consider uncomfortably interrogative in nature.

So we start to pull away from too much involvement with them. We pulled out of going with them on a road trip to Lisboa and exotic Spanish towns. I think we saved ourselves a lot of grief.

So our drop rate for suitable company is higher than our pick up rate. So our recruitment exercise to find travel and dining companions continue.

So what?

A good screw up

They are a dread couple from KL who blow into town too many times in the year.

The one is a poor excuse of a former BBC correspondence who never made a dint in his time. We are just tired of his braying insults at everything and everybody in Singapore (including us). The other is an insufferable shameless name dropper.

They always look us up to be wined and dined. We sometimes indulge them and end up wanting to kick ourselves for having been duped one more time. At other times, we make up excuses to not see them, like everyone else who have their wits about them.

We made the bad decision this time to take them out to dinner. Then the man's back went out on him and we called off the dinner.

An old schoolmate is in town with her husband whom we've not met. We had arranged for them to come over for dinner the day after we were to see the dread couple. Somehow, the schoolmate messed up the date so we decided we would go ahead and have her and husband over anyway, even if the man is in pain. We spent the better part of the day scrambling to get the home presentable, and put together a dinner of steaks with all the expected trimmings.

It turned out to be one of the best evenings we've had in a long while. We actually liked her husband!

By evening's end, we even agreed to visit and stay at their home in the country sometime soon.

After they left, we looked at each other and smiled. Sometimes, screw ups really work out better than the best laid plans.

I love a good screw up now and then. Heh

Writing to the CB

She was waiting for me to write her. Why? She wanted to know how we are doing, and how was our recent trip to Bordeaux and Biarritz. I am tired by now to tell her go read my blog.

So I dutifully wrote her, and attached three pictures: this, this and this.

The woman came back with: "That's an interesting pose, and a lovely letter."

That got my ire; I promptly wrote back:

CB, I take offence that my picture is only an interesting pose. Everyone raved about it, and about me. So there.

She's going to come back and ask me what the initials stand for...

Finally, goodbye

She was a new arrival. She wanted to be plugged in to the social scene to have friends to go places and do fun stuff with. I didn't want to put in the effort because, well, she just wasn't my type (if that was a reason). I introduced her to my friend who I know can lead her into activities and groups. I wanted to get her out of my hair. What was I thinking?

This much I knew:
Husband resigned from his job to take up the posting here.
She resigned from her work to come here with him.
They put up their home for rent.
They gave their family car to their daughter.
They will be here for the next 8 years or more.

Two short months later, the picture perfect plan fell apart. The husband was no longer needed in his job. They have 2 weeks to pack up and pack out at their own expense. They get to stay at the rented apartment till the end of the month, and they would be on their own for the remaining 6 days.

Apparently there was no contract. The husband came out here on the say-so of a former colleague.

Alarm bells went off in my head. What kind of people in their/my age group would quit their established and senior job positions to take up a posting in a new-strange-foreign land with no contract?

The woman was hysterical, hurt and angry. The husband acted like he was defeated and lost. My friend was very sympathetic and I was feeling like a heel for not feeling anything remotely resembling sympathy.

When the dust settled, this was what I knew:

They leave on scheduled date.
They stay at a friend's home for 5 days and check into the Marina Sands on the last 2 days.
He has a job back with the company he left, but at a more junior level.
She will look for a job.
They rent a room from a friend till the tenants finish their lease early next year.
Another friend will lend the husband a pick-up truck so he has transport to get to work.
She wants him to put out feelers and let it be known they want to get back here.

I held my breath till departure day. I haven't heard anything from her. I can safely assume she and husband have left.

I let out a sigh of relief. I hope she loses all our phone numbers. I hope I have seen the last of her.

I will still be open to helping people I've just met. But I will most certainly give them the third degree. And I won't palm them off so quickly to someone else.

Instant new citizens

Newly minted Singapore citizens. They are many.

Most are not noteworthy. Some warrant a moment of consideration. Others are downright an affront to ethical sensibilities.

Then there are these.

October

was the month
- I had so many things on my mind that I completely forgot I had tickets for Tango Fire.

- I want to blame the screwball woman who tells me her husband has been let go from his work, and they have to move back to their home country at their own expense. I don't understand how they could have packed up and come here for the husband to take up a job with no contract. She is very upset, I am very suspicious which makes me feel crummy and sorry I ever met her, and getting another friend involved.

- I think of how, elsewhere where I once lived, the weather would have turned decidedly chilly, marking the end of the sunny months.

- I don't feel Halloween here even though there were many Halloween parties over the weekend. I remember elsewhere, when Greta the 7-foot tall witch I made, stood outside my front door. I loved "treating" the little ghosts and goblins who braved walking past Greta to ring my door bell. I detested the big evil looking ghouls who came treat or tricking.

- I feel somewhat sad that another year will soon end.