Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Gypsy in my Soul

It's just the gypsy in my soul
Make me pack up my things and go

It may seem like I'm on a roll

But it's just the gypsy in my soul

Van Morrison
I am sorting out my wardrobe for two weeks in South-West France. I expect beautiful weather in the beautiful Bordeaux and Biarritz country side.

I want to wear gypsy all the way. Gypsy feels right. Certainly, gypsy looks right.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Mahjong for the weekend

I sat down to play a full game (and half) of mahjong over the weekend. It was the first time I played in about 10 years.

I love the game. But I am particular about how the game is played, and with whom I sit down with.

I do not like players who are:
- overly noisy (slam cards, yell and yelp when the winning tile shows up).
- overly whiny when experiencing a losing streak.
- not happy whether winning or losing.
- try too hard to build a strong hand.
- impatient if anybody needed to take a second to consider a move.

You get my drift.

I am very "zen" in my game style, if I am at a table with fairly good skills. I let the cards just come (or not). I particularly enjoy a good game at a table with superior game-masters.

For many years, I had the privilege to play with some of the most gracious and elegant mahjong players; they were impeccable in their game etiquette. I like to think that some of their behaviour rubbed off on me.

So, for the first time in a long time, I played the game again with new found friends and I found I liked their style.

They said they enjoyed having me, and I was happy to hear that.

When they asked if they could get me again when they needed a fourth, I said "Yes!"

When they asked if they could get me again when they needed a third, I said "No!"

Like I said, I love this game too much to have to play it in any slap-dash fashion. Heh,..

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What's love got to do with it

The girlfriend mentioned the notion of open-relationships - something the guys were bantering about.

It has been a very long time since I bothered to explore concepts of alternative love-styles.

I am a product of the 70s counter-culture in fashion, thought and being. The era - for all its beauty and failings - defined the person I am today. Certainly I've lived the "free love"
lifestyle of the time. It felt good and right to toss out the hypocritical societal constraints that governed society in the 50s and early 60s, and have the freedom to love - anyone, anytime, anywhere. A lot of us crashed and burned in that experiment in sexual revolution. But with hindsight, I still defend the movement for its innocence and honesty.

I find today's notion of an "open relationship" too cold, calculated and contrived. The parties talk through and agree on clear-cut set rules of sexual conduct with other parties.

I view open relationship as granting permission to be promiscuous. No where in this arrangement does love, even at the most superficial and lusty level, come into play.

I say if you want to sleep around, just go ahead. Saying no is not going to stop anybody anyway.

My closing thoughts on open relationships? Can it, dudes. You are trying to sell a bill of goods. Cheating is a nobler option, and it certainly is a lot simpler.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Just an old fashioned char siew bao

I first made bao's when I lived in California in the 80s. At the time, there were no decent bao's to be had in the desert town I lived in. My only option was to drive 2 hours to dim sum restaurants in Los Angeles.

The industry-packed bao's available in Chinese supermarkets were, in a word, disgusting. What passed for char siew bao filling was just this bit of sweet red goo.

I have big choice of bao's here, so I don't have any real push factor to make my own.

Except that the comfort food called char siew bao which I remembered from my childhood has been through some evolutionary process. The bao's have become too "refined", if you will. I crave the more "robust" version I remembered sinking my teeth into; the bao back then had more "character" in taste and texture.

So, one day recently, when I had leftover char siew, I made my own bao's.

There is something deeply satisfying about biting into an old fashioned unpretentious char siew bao and taste every nuance of char siew wrapped in a basic steamed bun.

Friday, September 10, 2010

What girls want

It was an evening of much food, drink, and celebration; three young men in the family had birthdays within a week of each other.

Understandably, the conversation was mostly "young" - decisions about school courses, early days at work, strategy on how to get ahead in life. It was refreshing to hear them chart the course of their future with unabashed enthusiasm and confidence.

Sometime in the evening, the conversation turned to a topic that must be so much more significant and mysterious at this stage in their lives. The guys asked of each other and the girls: "What do Singapore girls want in a guy?"

The guys (typical) then went ahead to list what they knew the girls wanted:
- Someone who will be there for them.
- Money has to rank somewhere up there.
- A hunk, a brain, and something or everything in between.
- etc

I have to admit I never wasted time in my brave young days pondering what I wanted in a guy, or what a guy wanted in a girl. I was with whoever fitted my needs best at the time.

I never asked for or needed promises of forever and ever and a day. Those were just words. Relationships are a lot more straightforward than people allow them to be.

The girl wants the same things as the guy. And the relationship that works is one where those requirements are met.
I 'll drink to that gem of an insight. And you guys should too.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Why do they live here?

They did not get their way about redesigning and upgrading the lobby and grounds of the condo. So they vent their unhappiness by pelting the condo residents' committee and on-site manager with complaints and more complaints:

- How dare the drainage pipes burst after we've had heavy rain for several days.
- How dare the CCTV not be in good working order.
- How can children be allowed to play boisterously around the swimming pool.
- How can the security guards not stop their two maids from running away.
- How dare a pool side party be allowed to carry on beyond 10pm.

They point out (for the umpteenth time) that their complaints have fallen on deaf ears. They now write to the condo management that unless concrete steps are taken to remedy all the ills of this place, they will have no choice but to seek legal advice on how they may ensure they are adequately protected living here. (Ooooh...we are so scared).

There are some valid issues in their litany of complaints. And the condo manager does address problems that are brought to his attention. It is silly to threaten with legal action when there is simply no basis for it.

And I wonder, for the umpteenth time - why did they move in here? and why will they not consider moving to some place where the environment is more acceptable to them?

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

August

was the month
- feelings that were laid to rest, but were never abandoned, awakened. Feelings that are tied to gender studies, feminist politics and activism. Feelings and beliefs that I always hold close to my heart.

- these feelings were awakened from reading the Larsson books. I re-examine the lot of womenfolk in a world that operates by secular and religious laws made by men and despair at the hopelessness of gender inequity.

- I am further haunted by the reality of how unprotected a life partner is at the worst hour of her life.

- I am acutely aware of the change of seasons even if I live them vicariously. As summer fades into fall, I want to enjoy the little time that is left before the dread winter season takes over with its attendant garish holiday season.