Christmas past and present

I enjoy the Christmas lights, the festive mood, the sudden rush to see friends before the year closed, the exchange of presents, the outpouring of kindness in thoughts and deeds to everyone.

This time, for the first time in many years, I go back to two special people who are no longer around to make Christmas the cheery season that it is.

The grandmother in Bakersfield who baked her special rum soaked Christmas cakes for so many people. I remember especially her three young grandchildren ripping into the Christmas presents; the tinsel, ribbons and gift wraps quickly covering the floor.

And the man who always put up the best Christmas decorations and tree that he could for his grown children and young grandchildren even when they were not by his side for Christmas.

While I gather the family and friends for Christmas revelry, I am also thinking of loved ones who I shared Christmas with all those years ago.

And I am grateful to have them always, if only in my memory anymore.
 

I Pass

For the first time in six years, I have to give Mr Ropp's twice-a-year warehouse sale a miss...

Look at the dates! I cannot get away, even for the usual 3-day 2-night turnaround trips I have been doing.

More than pasing up on the fun of buying up beautiful clothes for the friends and myself, I will be pasing up on seeing the Paul Ropp warehouse store staff. 

More than staying away this one time, it will be the beginning of staying away in the future as saying "No" becomes easier in the future.

What were you thinking, Mr Ropp?

One Hundred Days later

I cant be contented with yesterdays glory
I cant live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
Ill laugh and Ill cry and Ill sing

Father closed his eyes for the last time in early September.

A hundred days on, and I still find myself struggling to come to grips with lies, deceit and betrayal in the circle of people I least expected - Father's favourite son, his wife, his siblings.

For a hundred days, several ugly scenes kept replaying in a loop in my mind. I listened to platitudes about forgiveness and understanding: I heard nothing even vaguely close to an admission of wrong-doing. 

For a hundred days, I searched my soul for an answer as to where and how to go from here.

I know now. 

I will never forget the fact that these people committed an act of extreme cruelty - they denied a dying man his last wish which was to go home. The son had larcenous intents, the wife was selfish and did not want to be inconvenienced with a dying husband, and the siblings were acting out long-held resentment against Father. 

Time will never soften the pain I felt when I realised too late that I was blind-sided by trickery and treachery. 

This much I know: if the opportunity ever comes that I can hurt this son, wife and siblings as much as they have hurt Father, I will have no hesitation to act upon it.

Until then, these people cease to exist any more for me.

Me in Liwan in Quangzhou

Guangzhou is not a tourist destination - it is unmistakably a hub for wholesalers and manufacturers of consumer products.

There are only two "happening" activities in this city.

There is (of course) the Chinese New Year.

Then there is the Canton Fair, held twice a year in the spring and fall. This is a period to avoid if you are not a industry buyer or exhibitor.

Notwithstanding all this, going to Guangzhou suits me right now. I was there 3 times in the last 3 months.

I love staying in the Liwan district - it reminds me of our Chinatown/Tanjong Pagar district in the 70s, only much bigger. There is no need to travel any place for meals - small eateries within walking distance of the hotel offer comfort food that brings back memories of unfussy, unassuming nourishment for the stomach and the soul. Traditional Chinese confectionaries that still bake up simple old-school biscuits like 雞蛋餅 (egg cookies sans butter) that make me smile as I recall favourite snacks from long ago . Small shops manned by inter-generational family members peddling unrelated wares. Toddlers and young children watching people and activities with curiosity and happy grins. Cantonese dialect flowing easily and naturally in snatches of conversation as I poke in every nook and cranny of the neighbourhood.

Me. In Liwan. In Guangzhou. Where I re-live the simple happiness of my childhood years.

Seven months on

I am back.I am whole again.

It's been seven months since I last posted anything. Seven months of disappointments with certain persons, many setbacks at persuasion to seek resolution and reset off-track decisions. I finally accept that certain persons cannot be saved from themselves and the only thing left to do is let events run their collision course.

In these seven months, I sought consolation for my troubled mind and spirit.In these seven months, I made short trips China. And on one of these trips, I got reacquainted with a long forgotten love - semi-precious gemstones.

The Liwan district in Guangzhou is the place to pick up any quantity of any gemstone imaginable. I came back with strands (read kilos) of  happy beads, nuggets and rocks.

I make stretch-bracelets when I need quiet and focus. Many of my creations are on the wrists of friends, old and new-found, women I have just met who needed some cheering up.

To see big smiles and brightly lit eyes - I know I am finally, really and truly, back and whole again.