pillow talk with sinlady

I don't like the woman

2011-11-21T17:47:00.005+08:00

I didn't like the woman way back when.

I didn't like the woman through the years.

So I haven't seen the woman for the last few years.

Two months ago, I heard she was diagnosed with advanced brain cancer, was being treated with chemotherapy and radiation, and was not expected to live beyond 15 months.

I felt badly for her. But I did nothing about trying to contact her - she lives and works out of the country, and comes back frequently on weekends.

She was back all last week, staying at a friend's home. Said friend called me to come over for dinner with the woman.

I told myself to be nice, hold my tongue, smile and nod in sympathy and agreement.

She is still ever the loud-mouthed shameless self-promoter I disliked from way back when. All night, I listened to the woman tell me how great a person she is - as a helpful friend, a hot lover, a doting mother, a filial daughter, a long-suffering wife (twice), an understanding ex-wife (twice), a dedicated employee, a pious person etc etc etc.

I held my tongue, I smiled and nodded in sympathy. I was nice.

At the end of the evening, I felt sad.

For her - because I'd like to think there are many people who really and truly like her, but I have serious doubts about that.

For myself - because I am probably seeing her for the last time. And I still do not like the woman.

I look forward to this

2011-11-13T10:19:00.001+08:00

I still look forward to this.

Not the factory sale, per se. I love Paul Ropp creations, but I have p-l-e-n-t-y Paul Ropp clothes in my closet; I still have several in their original wrapping. I have also not come back with big hauls the last few times. Maybe Paul Ropp's creative genius has taken off in a different direction and I am just too stubborn to go along.

Yet, I still look forward to this.

It is an opportunity to see some dear friends who will never travel anywhere. It is also a walk down memory lane, back to youthful days of living and loving fearlessly. I still recall watching the stunning sunsets, as the lover and I talked of possibilities of being this happy forever, together.

Many wishes and dreams from those days have come to pass. The Bohemian spirit in me still awakes on that island. For as long as I still feel all this, I look forward to revisiting Bali. For the friends, the memories, the unbeaten free spirit.

Yes, I still look forward to this.

Night of Wine and Dine

2011-11-11T20:48:00.004+08:00

Bottom left picture - from left:
Pathy (sommelier, Table@7)
Daniel Chathiard (owner, Chateau Smith Haut Lafitte)
Eugenia & Karl (owners, Table@7)
Clinton Ang (owner, Cornerstone Wines)

It is a stretch to find me at wine-pairing dinners. For the simple reason that I am allergic to alcohol.

But because it is the folks at Table@7 who asked.

And because we have fond memories of our dinner at the Chateau Smith-Haut Lafitte.

We went.

It was, of course, another thoroughly enjoyable evening at our favourite restaurant, with some of our favourite people in the F&B industry...

October

2011-11-07T08:06:00.002+08:00

was the month
I took a short break, in of all places, China.

Specifically, Beijing and Harbin. More of that later.

I have also taken the time to sort out myself. Specifically, to sort out my relationship with various people.

Everyone out there is either (a) my-type-of-people and we get along famously from the first, or (b) not my-type-of-people, but having evolved into the "nice" person I want to be, I "find" reasons to accept these people.

Of the (b) category people, I now know in myself that it is a lost cause to make unacceptable people acceptable. So I leave them behind (figuratively and literally).

And that does not make me "un-nice".

Away

2011-10-26T06:51:00.003+08:00

I have used the time to keep counsel with myself. I am taking longer than I planned to. But it was necessary, and it has been good.

Now I will be away for two weeks.

I will be ready to resume posting when I get back.

I am otherwise doing well, and have been busy with various friends and activities.

But more of everything later.

September

2011-10-02T19:12:00.007+08:00

was the month
that the pieces finally fell in place. I can see and think clearly again.

I had an epiphany about people who can only be described as a**holes. Of these, there are family and non-family. Whereas I used to shun the family but did my best to accommodate the non-family ones, I have made an about-face turn. I will suffer and put up with the a**holes in the family; all others will have to find their own emotional punching bag.

To certain somebodies who recently blindsided me with "We don't understand, but we do not(will not?) ask", I have this to say: "Real friends do not question; real friends ask". And I did ask. I got an evasive non-answer. I do not question, but the ball is back in said somebodies' court.

I am glad the harsh Summer season is coming to an end.

I welcome the richer and more sophisticated season that is Fall.

Cabaret - the video

2011-09-18T11:47:00.004+08:00

Here are the pictures.

Here is the video:

Thank you, photographer and videoman, for capturing the night.

I treasure the memory.

August

2011-09-01T17:59:00.001+08:00

was the month

I would remember for two reasons.

The man turned 60. We gathered friends and family for his birthday dinner party. It was as much dinner as party, with a really class act put together with the dance friends. And I remember again what a beautiful gift a dance makes, for the giver and the recipient.

My parents are relentlessly toxic as parents, and as people. I grappled with my feelings about them, about my role as their daughter in May, June, July. Sometime this month, the decision was made for me by Mother. I am now out of the world of distrust, mistrust, disappointment, misunderstanding, delusion and mischief which the parents created and continue to live in. I remember again why I left them in the first place.

I have removed my earlier posts on Mother because I felt it was time I erased bad memories of bad parents. I find now that I was not wrong about them, so I will retrieve and re-post them. As well, I have no need to write in a closed blog. I stand by what I write.

I would pop that bottle of champagne if I could still drink. For I am, indeed, truly, back.

Mooncakes and more mooncakes

2011-08-28T15:57:00.005+08:00

Mid-Autumn Festival. Zhongquijie. Lantern Festival. Mooncake Festival.

By whatever name, I love everything associated with this seasonal festival - the celebrations, the myths, the mooncakes! Especially the mooncakes.

There is definitely no shortage of variety and versions here. Creativity and imagination run amok as restaurants, hotels and pastry chefs promote their idea of a new and improved mooncake with new and different flavours, fillings, textures, even shapes (!). Somehow, I think of these re-invented mooncakes as experiments. Oftentimes, quite horrific failed experiments even.

In the end, I really want my mooncake as I have always known it.

With the familiar baked skin complete with its imperfections because a pair of hands worked on it. With the smooth lotus paste filling, just this side of too oily and too sweet.

Rolled up in a stack of 4 on plain white paper contrasted against Chinese Red and Gold decorative prints. Or packed in no-frills boxes of 4. And all stacked into brown paper bags carrying the company name.

In my books, the three masters of old-school mooncakes are (listed in no particular order):

Tai Thong Cake Shop
35 Mosque Street
Tel: 6223 2905

Chinatown Tai Chong Kok Confectionery Hue Kee
122 bukit Merah Lane 1 *01-62 Alexandra Village
Tel: 6270 8994

Tai Chong Kok
34 Sago Street
Tel: 6227 5701

His BigSixOh

2011-08-23T11:56:00.002+08:00

On the occasion of his bigsixoh, we threw the best birthday dinner party we knew how.

Not for this man the usual grim and glum food and drinks with the folks, young and old. And talk about the good old days.

Because the good days are not in the past. It is in the here and now.

And so, with the support and help of talented friends, we got ourselves a night of

*fine dining ( Table@7),
*great wines (private collectors),
*mesmerising bellydance (special appearance by G)
*dazzling burlesque-cabaret show (my fabulous showgirls),
*memorable keepsake of the night in pictures (amiphotography)
.
I'd like to think that the fun and friendship will last for a long time after the party is over.

I know I will remember all of you. Especially the friends who made it possible.

Cabaret Night at Table@7

2011-08-23T09:54:00.002+08:00

The restaurant is new. The players are not. Their culinary expertise is firmly established but their gastronomic creations continue to surprise with new dimensions.

Table@ 7 opened to rave reviews in April, and its popularity continues to grow from strength to strength.

We've been to the restaurant too many times to count, with too many friends to mention. Each time, we come away happy.

So it went without saying that the man celebrated his special birthday dinner party at this special restaurant.
The restaurant worked closely with us in every way to make the party exactly as we wanted it.

We wanted cabaret. We got cabaret. Heh.

Table@7 is located at:
7 Mohamed Sultan Road,
S 238957
Tel: 68366362
Mobile: 8338 6362
website: tableat7.com

Now you see them, Now you don't

2011-08-17T14:26:00.005+08:00

So "they" (mysterious powers that be) withdrew the video clips of bellydance performance I thought were wonderful and posted here. I get some mumbo jumbo reason as to why they are no longer available. So I searched again. And found these two clips, which I post here until "they" withdraw again for some other or maybe same mumbo jumbo reasons. Some bits in the videos cover the performances I thought were great. Of course, there are plenty I would have loved to share but are not in these clips. But there you are.

Fusion bellydance when it is good :)

2011-08-02T16:13:00.005+08:00

Oops! The video clips have been withdrawn (August 4, 2011). I will repost if they show up again.

There were some happy and memorable moments during the Singapore Street Festival.

For fans of belly dance fusion, here are some of the really lovely performances:

1. Our very own Darren and Maia:

2. Another home team - Joey and the Jewelz:

3. The very impressive mother-and-daughters dance troupe from Vietnam

4. Bellydance-Indian fusion done right :)

July

2011-08-01T17:21:00.002+08:00

was the month
I spent too much time thinking, just thinking, of ways to escape the clutches of wretched souls who seek to subsume the life I have made for myself. I was distracted, ineffective, unproductive. Unfinished business was starting to pile up.

Not anymore. I am myself again. I am back. Because

I accepted the fact that wretched people will always be with me. And so, having realised that they are a constant in my life, I can move on. So long as I never underestimate the ability of such wretched people to subsume me with their wretchedness, I will be alright.

I have not started to write in my closed blog. It isn't a pressing matter anymore. You will hear from me when I get it up and running; I have not forgotten you :)

For now, I am happy to know this: I am back.

The morning after

2011-07-30T15:59:00.005+08:00

and I am still reeling from the upset win from last night's bellydance competition. (Click here for details.)

We just knew who the winners were. Too bad the judges didn't. And their decision sticks. Even when it sucks.

I retract my statement about Asia Global Bellydance being a respected competition. I think the quality of the judges is only marginally better than the lot on a recent local TV dance competition.

THE Bellydance Show of the Year

2011-07-29T16:27:00.003+08:00

This is one of the most exciting weekends in the year!

I am looking at 3 nights of bellydance performance starting tonight.

The line-up of Singapore competitors this time is simply awesome!

It is good to see some of our strongest performers back in a competition that is suitably respected for this dance form.

To Bali and back

2011-07-21T18:22:00.005+08:00

We made the 48-hour turnaround visit to Bali for yet another Paul Ropp Warehouse Sale. We were last there in March! Four months is definitely too short a time between his sales.

There wasn't anything for me to pick up this time. I had bought up everything worth buying the last time. I came away with exactly one pair of shorts. Alright, they aren't just shorts shorts; they are signature Paul Ropp shorts.

The man did better - he managed to find 4 shirts after really rummaging through every rack.

It was still a nice short getaway, made stress-free because we refused to hunt down new places to eat at. We settled for the true and tried Kafe Batan Waru, a short walking distance from our hotel. And for the caffeine fiend in me, this place does a decent latte.

For the uninitiated, this is the only time of the year - the antipodean winter months of June-July-August - when the weather is most pleasant.The days are breezily cool, and the nights are sometimes chilly.

There is still magic in the air in Bali :)

If-you-have-no-clothes

2011-07-16T17:55:00.004+08:00

This is talking to me; I have no clothes :)

Oh, not really. But I'm there anyway ...

Remembering

2011-07-13T18:30:00.005+08:00

I am tasked with compiling a play-list for an upcoming dinner party. I expected it to be an easy job. How wrong can I go if I select what I love enough to drum my fingers and tap my feet to?

Well, for starters, I am so rusty that I have difficulty recalling the songs I liked, even loved! How sad is that?

I started by looking up "greatest dance song lists" in the last *gasp* 4 decades.That's a long list. It has been a down-memory lane type of exercise as I recall the place, the year, the guy, the friends with every song. I kept only the happy memories.

The guests are my contemporaries; they are going to have to love my selection of hit dance songs.They'd have been down the same roads at about the same time, and therefore they must share the same sentiment. So there!

In the process of making my playlist, I stumbled upon a music genre I loved, which I had long forgotten - Hawaiian slack key guitar music by the maestro Keola Beamer.

I listened. I remembered. The sound still tugs at the heart-strings. And I smiled.

Bellydance Night@Shiraz

2011-07-11T10:58:00.003+08:00

I will remember this night for a long time to come. The reasons were many:

The place is Shiraz. They do decent, even good, middle-eastern food. The service staff are always willing to accommodate special requests.

My favourite people - bellydancers - perform every night of the week. I love that they do multiple sets throughout the night. I detest places where the dancer does a single set of 3-songs and immediately leaves for another gig elsewhere; there's no satisfaction from eating or entertainment, just interruptus of the most annoying sort.

The evening provided the rare opportunity to catch up with friends who I otherwise do not get to see.

This time, the limelight shone on Fatema and Katerina Shereen. Both performers saved the very best - the forkloric danceforms - for their last sets with Fatema ending with saidi and Shereen finishing with khaleegi.
I stayed to the very end. The reasons were many.

Katerina Shereen @ Shiraz

2011-07-05T21:59:00.003+08:00

There are several exciting bellydance events in the second half of the year.

Starting with this at Shiraz this entire week.

And who is Katerina Shereen?

I am so there there already :)

June

2011-07-01T18:29:00.007+08:00

was the month
I celebrated my birthday. I have so many of you to thank for having come into my life and making it that much richer and fuller.

I grappled with my conflicted feelings about my parents knowing that I would have to be around them more often in the months ahead. And having to listen to Mother yammer a lot more in the process.

I made a few important life changing decisions. The one that is pertinent to you, my readers, pertains to my blog. I believe in keeping an open blog. I am happy to have met so many of you here. I hope to continue seeing you here.

I have also reached a point in my journal where I want to confine some of my posts to a more familiar and friendly readership. I will let you know when that blog is up and running. Write me (sinlady at gmail dot com) to get yourself on the invite list, please.

You see, I did a lot of thinking about my life and about living. And, with all due modesty, I look back and can honestly say I live my life the best I know how. I have few regrets. Except now, I need to do it better. And therefore, hopefully, have even fewer regrets.

It starts with keeping certain unwanted prying eyes out of some aspects of my life, even if only as a blogger.

She's Singapore's finest

2011-06-29T17:39:00.001+08:00

I am around my parents a lot these past weeks because of father's medical condition. My sister has taken on the task of ferrying them to the hospital and be with them for the tests, then waiting and finally getting to see the doctor. I have taken it upon myself to meet them at the hospital to give the sister some respite from mother's incessant meaningless yammering.

Mother has recently taken to repeating ad nauseum the analogy of how a flower has to naturally bloom to be beautiful; if one tries to pry the flower open, the petals will just drop off. She thought the sister and I were like these naturally blooming flowers (because we are on hand to do the necessary?)

I bit my tongue to stop myself from shouting in her face: "Are you mad? You have alienated everybody. There is no one left to see you through these bad times. We are your daughters. What else can we do? Do we actually have a choice?"

I looked at the sister. I saw vexation written all over her face. After a beat, resignation set in. She turned to mother and calmly asked, "Ah then?"

I looked at the sister with renewed respect. So pragmatic. So to the point. So Singapore born and bred, schooled and trained.

I thought to myself: This woman, surely, has to be one of Singapore's finest!

Coffee with the Imp

2011-06-24T15:30:00.004+08:00

Many years ago, we would see each other at the few smokey pokey pubs and clubs. So smokey that even the smokers had to step out for a breath of air; so pokey (no pun intended) that sharp elbow jabs stab into your rib cage all night long.We would exchange a smile and a wave, occasionally we managed a quick catchup over the din.

It was just that kind of a place so we had just that kind of a acquaintance.

At some point, I quit the scene. And I sort of followed her comings and goings through the grapevine.

Then I came to know about her blog, and quietly followed it for a while. Where I had once thought her intelligent, I now come to appreciate the breadth and depth of that intelligence, and her critical open mindedness about things she is not certain about.

At some point, we decided to meet up again because, well, it seemed like a good idea. We finally did.

I am happy she made the time to meet me. I see in her everything I already expected. And more, much more.

I see a beautiful, confident, caring and insightful young woman. Someone I am happy to have met and kept in touch with. I wish for her a life filled with meaningful endeavours. I know she will have that.

Even if I had first met her in some smokey pokey pub :)

bye, bye, dress

2011-06-20T21:29:00.006+08:00

Remember this dress? Remember I said I absolutely, definitely, resolutely, hated it? I could find nothing to like about the dress; I even called it hideous.

Well, I don't anymore. Hate it, that is. Somebody is buying it off me. And all of a sudden, I feel a tinge of guilt that I was not nice to it.

But I know the new owner will sayang it. So bye bye dress. You will look so pretty on the nice lady.

I will miss you from time to time.

SinLady, Happy Birthday

2011-06-14T20:27:00.002+08:00

Sometime in my early 20s, I stopped celebrating my birthday. I learn to avoid mentioning my birthday so that over the years, people start to forget about the day.

It isn't that I don't want to celebrate my birthday with friends; I just find it terribly awkward to walk into a party that celebrates ME.

I took to looking up certain special people in my birthday month, and ask them out for a quiet dinner or coffee. To have some "only for ourselves" time again. Some sort of renewal and re-affirmation of all that is good in our lives, you know.

Because of the recent sad medical news of father, I have been keeping a low profile this time. I just do not have the energy or enthusiasm to look up anybody. I had in fact cancelled a few engagements because I didn't want to put a damper on our meeting. You know who you are, and I appreciate your understanding. I will see you again in happier times.

But, some friends gave me a birthday do anyway. And to you, I say Thank You. For the friendship you give me. For the thoughtfulness you show me. For the happy times to remember.
p.s. check out what's written on the cake! I love it!!!

She's back

2011-06-06T11:07:00.004+08:00

I never expect to hear from her again.

I was wrong. She emailed me, asking if I remembered her, asking how we are, it's been a l-o-n-g while since we last heard from each other, do we still go to Bali, to Paul Ropp etc.

As if the unpleasant incident about trying to borrow money from me never happened!

She tells me she and husband are back in Bali, he has retired from work, and she has a rental villa available whenever we next visit Bali. Out of curiosity, I looked up the other villa that was to have been put up for sale all those years ago when she desperately needed money. It's still there, available for rent by contacting her or her husband.

So, I replied to her saying yes, I remember her, we are fine, it's been a long time, we still go to Bali and to Paul Ropp.

And, yes, I'll let her know when next I visit Bali.

You know I will do no such thing.

FON people

2011-06-04T17:51:00.002+08:00

It has been one week of bringing Father for tests, waiting for reports to be written, waiting for the team of doctors to confer. It will be next week before we will meet with the oncologist.

During this time I have some angry moments and some regretful thoughts as the mind reaches into dark recesses and cruelly yanks out long repressed memories. Mostly, I am able to keep my emotions in check, and get through each day with as little upset as possible.

I need my equilibrium. I cannot spare any emotion to tackle nonsense right now.

I also welcome diversion that allows me to focus on happier matters. So when the makan crew woman suggested getting together for dinner at their favourite Hokkien restaurant, I said yes. Then she said to limit the per head cost to $40/-. Then she suggested we order fewer dishes. Then she said if I have friends who are not budget conscious (what did she mean, really?) please invite them.

Like I said, I welcome diversion of an enjoyable kind. I am not about to take on planning a menu for a table of 10 with tight budget constraints and be told I have extravagant taste and friends.

With no hesitation, I told her to leave me out of the dinner arrangement for now. I have too much on my mind to deal with petty details over a casual dinner date.

I don't need to deal with people who are FON (full of nonsense). Especially now.

May

2011-06-01T08:20:00.002+08:00

was the month
I will remember as a turning point in my life.

For most of the month, I was in the US/Canada. I remember again the many attributes I love about the people: the optimism, the open heartedness, the willingness to believe you and believe in you. I benefited from this supportive environment; I become this person today because of it.

Within 24 hours of coming back, I got a phonecall from Mother with the first devastating news of Father. Now come the tests and workups. Now come so many people with so many opinions - most of whom I dislike and distrust, others are disappointing and distracting.

Through this, I am grateful for the support of the few, and for knowing myself.

A snowy kind of May

2011-05-31T18:13:00.007+08:00

It was a good time to make a side-trip to the resort town of Banff in the Canadian Rockies. There was snow everywhere - on the rugged mountain slopes, on the ground, on roof tops. I loved the feel of the sun on my face even as I bundled up against the cold cold wind that blew throughout the day.

It was too early for the full invasion of clueless and mindless tourists. I shamelessly and openly gawped at the few out-of-season tourists doing the usual bizarre stuff that clueless and mindless tourists do. Like having their pictures taken standing on thin ice next to the sign that said "Caution - Thin Ice". Like lying on the snow striking a pose that resembled a sit-up.

I walked away from the jarring people, blocking them out of my mind's eye.

I gave myself over to the sheer beauty and majesty of the surrounding rugged mountains and backcountry wilderness.

I want to remember the smell of alpine meadows on a day in May. I want to remember that I was happy and at peace with myself.

Asian Foods of Vancouver

2011-05-30T17:23:00.005+08:00

Vancouver is the most Asianized metropolis in North America.

I stayed in Burnaby, an eastern suburb of Vancouver; I could have been in any Chinese city. The place is very Asian. Specifically, it is very Chinese.

The best eats in town is Asian. So, for the few days that I stayed at the Hilton in the Metrotown neighbourhood of Burnaby, it was Asian meals 80% of the time.
Just for you, imp, for asking: here is the obligatory sriracha chilli sauce found in every Asian restaurant in North America.
Our Alaskan King Crab dinner deserves special mention. For starters, this is my first real Alaskan King Crab meal. The monster crab was obscenely huge at 5.5kg. It was served up 3 different ways: we had steamed crab legs, battered and fried crab meat, and egg/crab fried rice.
Definitely, Asian food is the way to go when in Burnaby-Vancouver.

Food culture of Bakersfield

2011-05-28T10:51:00.005+08:00

Many good things about Bakersfield never change - stuffing one's face with food followed by ice cream made the old fashioned way is one of them.

This town may be off the radar screen of most food reviewers, but I love the good old honest downhome vibe of these places :)

Noriega's

Noriega's Restaurant is the oldest Basque boardinghouse and restaurant in the world; it has just been honored as an American classic by the James Beard Foundation.

A Place to Bask in Basque Culture covers the Noriega experience beautifully.

Luigi's

Another Bakersfield classic, always busy, noisy, friendly and happy to see you again. Their BBQ beef sandwich is as good as I remembered it to be. Luigi's just celebrated their 100th anniversary with 5000 happy hungry Bakersfield residents :)

Buck Owen's Crystal Palace

It's at once a stage, show venue, dance hall, restaurant, museum, country store. And much much more. Like it says in the video, even if you are not a fan of anything country and western, you should still come see for yourself at least once. I will have you know cowboy food done well is a culinary experience in a league on it's own.

Dewar's

And finally, like Huell Howser says, "No trip to Bakersfield is complete without a visit to Dewar's".

Mahjong and Satay

2011-05-24T05:07:00.004+08:00

They tell me when I left town, I left two "foreign" experiences to remember me by.

The first is mahjong, which they continue to play one afternoon a week. They tell me the weekly game cemented their friendship over the years.

The other is satay which I made for them before there were Singapore/Malaysian/Indonesian restaurants in California; before pre-mixes for satay marinade and peanut sauce were available in Asian grocery stores. They tell me they have not tasted satay that come close to what I make.

Now that I was in town, could I do satay dinner one night? And this time, one of them was tasked to learn the recipe.

Mahjong, with satay on the side. That's my contribution to this group of friends in this town.

I am proud of that :)

Special People

2011-05-23T16:25:00.002+08:00

My visit to the US is all about seeing the special people again who played a role as friend and mentor, shaping me into who I am today: someone I like.

I hope to be able to visit often, and look forward to many home dinners, just like the old days.

Goodbye #2003

2011-05-23T04:00:00.010+08:00

The storage unit measured 10x15 ft. Crates and boxes stayed stacked from floor to ceiling in #2003 for 10 years. I tried to clear and close down the facility a year ago, but there was just too many details that could not be worked out.

It would have been the same again this time, if not for the immeasurable amount of help extended to me by a very special couple.

With their generous help in the form of physical labour, local knowledge and unquestioning willingness to accommodate every request I asked of them, I finally and certainly put this 10 year burden behind me.

I ended up with a shipment of 5 small cartons containing a lifetime of bittersweet memories coming with me.

Everything else have found loving new homes and owners.

One of the most difficult items I had to leave behind is this piece of serious toy, made all the more difficult because I know I will never own another again.

It is now in the hands of a really good and responsible man, the only person I wanted to be its new owner.
And so, I start making and storing memories again. In another place. With another man.

The miles fly by

2011-05-22T06:39:00.006+08:00

Long flights - my threshold is anything >5 hours - are brutal on the body and soul.

I remember the old days when the only reason airlines fed their passengers at all is sustenance, and movie entertainment involved contorting body and craning neck to get some view of the pull down movie screen in the front of cabin. I remember packing my own meal and picking up magazines at the departure newstand for fortification to make it through the tortuous hours in the air.

Inflight menu and entertainment have come a very long way for front and back of plane. These days, I give myself over to the airline's menu selection and actually look forward to being surprised at how well the food is prepared and presented.

And oh, the luxury of movies-on-demand. So you can watch what you want when you want. I am not much of a movie person, but there is always something watchable, maybe even enjoyable, in the selection of Hollywood blockbusters and other language offerings.

This time, The Tourist lay it on me thick with an endless visual treat of a good looking cast and set location. And afterwards, I sat through Anthony Zimmer to relive the experience in French.

And so, the miles fly by.

Seattle-Singapore

2011-05-19T10:28:00.005+08:00

The month long visit to North America finally comes to an end. I leave tomorrow morning 11am from Seattle (2am Friday SG time) for the long flight home.

I am always happy to be in the US.

The biggest event was I managed to finally clear out and close down the storage facility I had kept for the last 10 years. With the help of a very good friend, its contents are now suitably re-situated in ways that does justice to the happy memories they have given me.

I spent equal time in Bakersfield, Vancouver and Seattle. There are many things I love in each place, but if I ever lived again in this continent, I would still return to Bakersfield, and visit every place and every one from there.

More on my thoughts and feelings about this place when I am back...

...the wind sure blows cold...

2011-05-12T09:12:00.001+08:00

I've always heard it rains a lot in the Pacific North West. I now can attest to that fact.

We left Bakersfield April 30. That was the last we saw the sun.

We've been in Seattle and then Vancouver and Calgary-Banff. We are now back in Vancouver, and will leave on Friday for Seattle again.

I exaggerate not, but it has been rain and gray skies 80% of the time we are here. There has been even a day of snow in Banff! In May!! It isn't miserably cold, but having to be bundled up all the time is getting to me. I want to see myself in pretty skinny clothes once in a way, alright?

But that will have to wait till I get back to Singapore in 10 days' time. For the next week and half, I will live in my pile of clothes.

Like they say in a song, "... the wind sure blows cold way out there ..."

ps I think I need only post one picture of me for this entire trip since I have my leather jacket on every time.

On the road

2011-05-08T23:29:00.003+08:00

Short update on my whereabouts:

The man and I were in Seattle after Bakersfield. We then left for Vancouver (more accurately, Burnaby). Four days of being around overseas Chinese was enough to make me grateful for a break away in Banff Alberta.

Banff is beautiful in an almost-alpine way. And as if to prove I am right, it is snowing (yes, SNOWING) this morning, in May!

I don't know that we are up to doing the Lake Louise drive, or take the gondola up Sulphur Mountain in the snow. And staying indoors in a log cabin styled hotel room isn't a bad idea.

I can decide all that in a while more. For now, I am happy to check on email and news snippets online.

More to come.

April

2011-05-04T01:39:00.008+08:00

was the month
I went back to Bakersfield at the right time.

All the friends were home. Even the ones who now live outside of Bakersfield came home for the week.

The days were a crisp 20C. Wisps of cloud softened the bright sunny skies with pillowy patterns.

I accomplished two important tasks this time in Bakersfield.

1. I met up with the two special women. The 15 or 16 years melted away as we asked after each other and about the significant people in each others' lives. I am just grateful to manage this start to reacquainting with friends I left behind.

2. I cleared and closed the storage unit! (more of this later).

Believe it or not, I actually hated to leave this town that I once couldn't wait to flee.

Either time does indeed heal all wounds, or time distorts history. It doesn't matter; I have my reasons for loving the place now.

Remembering old acquaintances

2011-04-19T19:58:00.002+08:00

I am all set for the US and Canada.

I look forward to being in California again. And seeing the old friends. Maybe even manage an afternoon of mahjong with them, for old times' sake.

There are two people in the old hometown I will see again for the first time in 10 years. One is my former employer, who gave me my first job in the US. The other was the editor of our Chinese community newsletter; I was the feature writer of the newsletter for a full cycle of the Chinese horoscope (Rat year 1984 to Pig year 1995). Both women are special to me: if not for their wise counsel, I would never have grown into the person I am today.

There are many more people who have stepped into my life and made me a better person for having made their acquaintance. But I can only do so much each time, and I want to spend enough time with each one to make the reacquainting meaningful.

So, with a little more grace and patience, I will come around to seeing everybody who touched my heart and enriched my life, at least one more time...

RTFM

2011-04-17T22:39:00.003+08:00

I am busy finalising my travel plans.

My favourite premier carrier tells me that my scheduled return flight has been cancelled and they have rescheduled me to return one day early.

Well, I can return later, not earlier.

A trip to their service centre is necessary since a phone call will only get me through to a call centre hell in some foreign land.

I expect to have the flight change resolved within 10 minutes. I am dealing with a multi award-winning industry leader in its home country after all.

But noooo. The representative I was assigned blithely informed me (1) I could only be wait-listed on the flight that stops over at Narita, and 2) I could get on the direct flight by paying $75.00 for making the change.

In exasperation, I turned to her colleague in the next cubicle and started to whole process of presenting my case.

A few strokes on her keyboard and the change was effected. No fuss, no muss.

The first representative stared daggers at me.

I wanted to yell at her: "Hey stupid. RTFM, will you? You don't penalise your passenger traveling in any category when you cancel the flight, never mind a full-paying business class passenger."

But I looked into the stupid stubbornness in her eyes, and decided to ignore her instead.

I have many more things that require my attention before I leave in a couple of days...

All Day Dimsum

2011-04-15T10:57:00.003+08:00

A dimsum/jiao zi store at a hawker centre is a welcome if unusual find at the hawker centre. The new kid on the block is You Peng Fresh Mian Jiao Zi Guan.

The store stands out from the usual suspects in the hawker centre: a row of orange lights hang like a fringe at the store front. Six men in uniform - smart white top over black pants - work with quiet efficiency taking orders, making the dumplings, cooking and serving up the food.

The menu is limited to jiaozi, wo tieh, xiaolongbao and la mian.

On a quiet night, when all I want is a small order of dumplings to go with a bowl of hawker-style noodles, this store will do very nicely...

You Peng Fresh Mian Jiao Zi Guan is located at
144 Upper Bukit Timah Road,
Beauty World Centre #04-23
Tel: 64635608, 92391598

Business hrs: Everyday 10:30am to 9.00pm

A night@Shiraz with Angelina

2011-04-13T11:11:00.003+08:00

They are new bellydance students looking for a chance to try out their newly acquired bellydance skills.

Because I really like these girls. Because I want them to stay interested and enthusiastic with the dance. Because I believe to grow in the love and learning of dance, it has to be experienced outside the confines of the dance studio.

I wanted to make it a girls' night of dinner and bellydance. I need food, drinks and a professional bellydancer.

The perfect restaurant is Shiraz - the women loved their dinner, desserts and drinks.

The perfect bellydance professional to show and lead them is Angelina Tay.
Thank you again, Angelina, for taking care of the girls and giving them so much of your time. Bringing hip scarves for all of them to get them into the mood was a particularly thoughtful gesture.

Everything went very well. The girls came away inspired and in awe of bellydance and the bellydancer :)

I know we will be back again very soon. And the group will be even bigger.

Pig-out at Eng Seng Restaurant

2011-04-05T18:41:00.006+08:00

I have said
- I will not stand in a queue for food,
- I will not eat dinner while the sun is still high in the sky,
- I will not eat at places where they serve up attitude with the food.

Then our wonderful foodie friends say we have to do crab dinner at Eng Seng for the best Black Pepper Crab. To organise this pig-out session, they had to
- go at 4.30 pm to pick and pay for the crabs,
- go at 5.30 pm to "chope" a big table for our party of 10.

It was still hot and sunny at 5:30pm. Every table in the house was taken. Ceiling fans with grease coated blades spun lazily, circulating hot air and cooking oil vapour.

There was a line outside, and walk-in's were being turned away because every crab was already spoken for!

Our dinner order hit the table and empty plates removed in rapid succession. Every dish was surprisingly very tasty.

Then came the piece de resistance - Black Pepper Crab. This isn't crab fried up with cracked black peppercorns. The crab is fried in a fragrant sweetish pepper sauce that clings to every part of the crab, making it literally finger-linking good!

Everyone of us pronounced this the best Black Pepper Crab we have ever had.

Would I come back? Yes I would (forget what I said at the top of this post.) And very soon too.

Eng Seng Restaurant is located at
247/249 Joo Chiat Place
Singapore 427935
Tel: 6440 5560
Important:
Hrs: 4:30pm till when the last crab is eaten at about 9:00pm.
Closed on Wednesdays

Still doing the CB thing.

2011-04-03T10:19:00.001+08:00

I have not forgotten or forgiven her insensitivity and senselessness.

She sent me a text message, saying she hasn't heard from me in ages, asking for my home phone. Something about it costing peanuts on a line phone vs calling me on my mobile.

It took me only a second to text her back, telling her I'd just come back from Bali, and will be gone again for a month in late April, then again in September, with small trips in between.

Read forget it, you CB. I no want to talk to you. I no want to hear from you in any way.

But I will hear from her again. She will never get the hint. She will blithely carry on doing her CB thing.

March

2011-03-31T17:32:00.010+08:00

was the month
of checking out many new and almost-new restaurants helmed by michelin-starred and celebrity chefs. I have to decline any more such invites; these places are overrated in every way, the most insulting being that the title of "chef" is meaningless.

Most were forgettable, others were downright regrettable (more on the bad stuff at another time).

Still, I miss my food posts and the (mediocre) pictures that go with them. For now, I want to share this photostream from flickr. I am really impressed with the guy's collages of foods and drinks, especially his collection of teh-tarik and acrobatics tea shots:)

I am glad the partying season finally came to a close. I want to/need to get on with my own wants and needs in my own way, in my own time for the remaining months...

Weave the Ruby Mandala

2011-03-30T11:29:00.002+08:00

I started bellydance lessons with Keti Sharif. I have moved on to other good and great teachers to whom I am grateful for their patience and generosity in imparting their skills and expertise.

I attended Keti's Ruby Mandala workshop - a
beautiful 2-hr session of smooth downtempo veil work of flowing pattern formation.

And as before, I find myself amazed at how this dancer-teacher manages to teach, inspire and challenge students at any level. I feel included, involved, and ultimately, I feel I am really dancing.

That is the strength of Keti Sharif the bellydance teacher. She manages the tricky balance of teaching while tapping into the student's level of individual ability so that at the end of the workshop, the student comes away with ownership of the dance.

I know I still love bellydance, I still dance today, I still think bellydance is relevant in the word of dance, because of having her as my first teacher.

The Journey - a poem for you

2011-03-21T18:45:00.002+08:00

It will always pain me to see my women friends continue to work at being everything to everybody.

These words are dedicated to you:

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

from The Journey

That PR dress

2011-03-18T21:27:00.004+08:00

I just fell in love with this dress at Paul Ropp's.

I got one (two?) for myself, and one for a very special girl friend.

And if the dress doesn't drape her long lean body perfectly in the most beautiful way, she will just have to change whatever is necessary with her body. LOL

The sale I wait for

2011-03-18T18:56:00.006+08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with Bali.

I hate having to quarrel with the hotel receptionist for trying to give me a room that is less than what I booked and paid for. I hate the the bumpy taxi rides through narrow lanes that are more pot-holed than paved surface. I detest alfresco fine dining in the sultry evenings. I have no patience with the street vendors hawking cheap tourist trinkets at outrageously inflated prices.

Then there is Paul Ropp. I love-love-love his Indian inspired bohemian creations. The Paul Ropp shops in Bali each carry a small selection of clothes and accessories. I love rummaging through a much bigger selection at his warehouse sale.

And yes, I love to see once again the big smiles on the faces of the crew who work here.

Bali according to Paul Ropp

2011-03-13T15:07:00.003+08:00

Note the factory/warehouse from 10;30

That's where I'll be next week! Yes!

Paul Ropp Factory Sale March 2011

2011-03-02T12:10:00.001+08:00

Yes!

I am looking into flight and hotel bookings.

Then I there already.

Yes!

February

2011-03-01T23:43:00.003+08:00

was the month
visitors of every stripe blew into town - almost-friends, real dear friends, sort-of families.

The most interesting are the relatives from Shantou. Until now, they are only people I have heard about. I am glad to finally meet them for a family dinner, pose for the obligatory family group picture, and sort of sad to know that in all probability, I will not see them again. I just cannot think of circumstances that will lead us to look up each other after this.

There is unrest again between the brother and parents. It distresses me to hear from the sister how much hatred there is between them. I am resigned to the fact that, like all previous rows, the brother will still do nothing to make things right for himself and his family. It reaffirms in my mind that the only thing to do is leave these people to fight each other their entire lives.

It is time I start to look to travel :)

The school friends

2011-02-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

Many batches of visitors came through Singapore these past weeks. Some were friends from long ago, some were friends I got to know in recent years. Some are not even friends in any meaningful sense of the word; others are people I knew from long ago and wish I never met.

Then there is this very special small group of women from the earliest school days. There is a lot of shared history among us. We have seen each other through heartbreak days, harrowing experiences, and celebrated the little victories in between. These days, we only meet up when we have an old friend visiting. Those occasions are few and far in between, and I treasure every moment of the little time we have with one another before going about our lives again.

I often think I might like for the ones living here to get together more frequently. But we never tried. Because I think it is precisely because these opportunities are rare that they become all the more special.

And so, until I see them again, I will remember the open laughter and conversation we shared this one afternoon.

The big dinner

2011-02-16T17:09:00.001+08:00

We do three big dinners in the year for the friends and family: the Chinese New Year round up, Christmas and New Year's Eve.

After many trials and errors with choice of food and mix of dinner friends, we more or less have our act together.

The huge spread of food got to the table with minimal hiccup, and the humans got along nicely.

There was even a little surprise birthday celebration thrown in the mix!

It was a lot of work, but we got a lot of help from the friends throughout the evening with putting away dishes, refilling drinks and making merry.

And so it came to pass; we had a grand time celebrating the first of three big festivals of the year.

The friends, the family, the food, the drinks. Everything was right.

CNY - Hanging in there

2011-02-09T11:41:00.006+08:00

Day by day, life returns to normal, as we reluctantly or gaily let go of the forced frenzied grip that is the Chinese New Year holidays.

The dance aunties return to their dance classes with tales of woe that beset them the week before.

Seeing the detestable relatives whom they avoid the rest of the year. Stories of frightful elders who are unhappy with the size of their ang pows. All the busy work that went into sending the gods back to the heavens to report on the good conduct of the household. All the anxiety to welcome the gods back in style and splendour. Frustration at raised prices of everything before the New Year that are not coming back down after. Tempers flared at long queues for bak kwa at inflated prices. Only for their effort to be dismissed by ungrateful recipients who say that bak kwa from another long queue is better.

Hang in there just a bit longer, ladies. It will all be over on the night of the 15th (that will be the Thursday of the 17th of February for the confused angmoh chek philistines). I expect a collective sigh of relief from the long-suffering.

Until the next go around on 23 January 2012.

To everything there is a season

2011-02-04T10:43:00.002+08:00

I returned to playing mahjong after 12 long years. In the company of gracious and elegant players, the game is all about good humour and conviviality. Otherwise, it is a waste of time.

I have been asked again and again to teach the game. I almost always decline. For me, it is not a simple matter of teaching the rules of play. There are many players who can impart this information. Heck, they can even learn it online! For me, it is about one's philosophy and therefore it is about one's attitude.

I will have nothing to do with players (and learners) who view mahjong as a gambling game, whose only objective is die-die-must-win.
Good play is a lot more subtle than that. The beauty of the game is that to everything there is a season.

Try teaching that to the philistines.

January

2011-02-01T11:27:00.011+08:00

was the month
of seemingly endless catching up with all sorts of friends and family.

The very dear girl (women?) friends finally nailed a date and place for coffee. Only for us to find the place closed that week for renovations when we got there. Bah! We ended up at a hotel coffee house for our sad coffees, but the step down in coffee choice was more than compensated by the chance to meet for a few hours of exciting updates.

Another special woman friend remembered my wishful thinking of using gold bricks for door stoppers. She went and got one for me! She lugged it into town to put it into my grabby hands! She had knee surgery recently and was still doing rehab physio. Wow! I feel the love, friend :)

Various people told me of various people coming into town; various people suggested get-togethers for the visitors at various places and various times. I agreed we should get together, then made no plans. I have learned to not act on rumours. I figured someone else who heard the rumour closer to source would be moved to organise some sort of meet-up and let me know. And I shall graciously show up.

I met the parents for lunch and did the ang pow exchange thing.

I am so ready for the New Year now.

The days of the Chinese New Year

2011-01-29T14:23:00.000+08:00

I am having a hard time sorting out the Lunar New Year days and dates. It has everything to do with the first day of the LNY falling on Thursday 3rd February. I cannot explain why new year being early and starting in the middle of the week confuses the heck out of me.

To add to the confusion, my English educated friends choose this time of the year to show off their non-existent Chinese-ness. There is something very jarring about the way they switch between referring to the Chinese Lunar calendar and the Gregorian one. They mention sam sap man, nin chor yat, nin chor ee, etc, then in the next breath they say that means the 2nd hor, 3rd hor, the 4th hor.

The numbers 30, then 1 through 15 are involved in the LNY. But do the people who are half baked in Chinese and English know what days they are referring to?

Maybe they do. Which means maybe I don't.

So, on some day during the eve of and during the 15 days of the Lunar New Year, I am sure I will see you at the right place on the right day.

Gong Xi Fai Cai :)

Tito !!

2011-01-22T17:40:00.003+08:00

For Tito fans among you:

The Chinese in me?

2011-01-21T16:45:00.002+08:00

The rounds of meet-ups and catch-ups aren't done. The baking duties aren't done. And I am not complaining. I am actually enjoying all these activities, and of course, seeing the friends.

I am careful about not over-doing the merry-making during the ang moh year-end holiday season. I never embraced the oft-touted giving spirit of the season or the notion of starting a brand new year with renewed hopes and goals at the end of the month-long binge drinking.

For the Chinese one, I am happy to go the extra mile. I don't complain about the tong tong chang music that fills the air. I smile at the garish red and gold decorative what-nots. I am intrigued by the fuss and fluster that go into making sure the multitude of deities-in-residence are happy in every household.

I have roles to play out for the Chinese New Year. The ones I don't like, I junk them altogether where I can. Where I cannot, I compromise to where the annoyance is minimal. The rest I gladly fulfill.

I think *gasp* the Chinese in me is showing. And I am happy about that.

He never knew me

2011-01-16T18:50:00.008+08:00

It has been 10 years since I left the ex, left the US, left the life that holds some of my fondest memories of friends, occasions and places.

I have little communication with the ex. There is no point. He is a lovely man. It is just sad that I grew up, he and I grew apart, and eventually, I had to leave just so I could make sense of myself.

Every year, he sends me a Hallmark card of the "you are special to me" variety at Christmas time. Every year, I email him to thank him for the card. Every year, I dread this predictable short communication which always brings up hurt and pain which I suppress all year long.

This time, he asked a simple question in the card: Do you ever feel lonely?

With deep sadness for him, I wrote back: No, I don't ever feel lonely.

I did not elaborate because he could not possibly understand: I have never been lonely, I cannot understand the state of being lonely, I actually enjoy being by myself.

I am sad all over again for the way things turned out in the end for him and me; sad that he will never understand I left because he never knew me, never heard anything I said, never cared for the things that are important to me.

He will forever believe my leaving was an act of selfishness. And I will let him belabour that mistaken notion.

Because he never knew me, he never heard me, he never cared to know what is important to me.

Travel Morocco

2011-01-05T11:35:00.006+08:00

I've always imagined I'd love to visit Morocco. Specifically, I imagine I'd love to visit Marrakesh. I just never worked out how to go about this trip.

I never figured out how to move around the city once I got there. The friends who've been all loved Marrakesh, speaking of beautiful riads, lovely cafes, good food in beautiful restaurants, great shopping at the souks. They purposefully ignore my questions about the chaos.

I want to be a participant, not merely a spectator. I don't know how I can do that in Morocco. I definitely dislike having a tour guide, usually a self-proclaimed expert, yammering in my face.

This may be the answer:
It all takes place in Fez, but I guess it's similar enough to Marrakesh, right? And the Fes Festival sounds interesting.

I am still thinking about it...

December

2011-01-02T10:38:00.006+08:00

was the month
filled with festive cheer and celebration.

I coped well with the cooking and baking duties for the many dinner parties by refusing to over-extend myself. I was surprised, and then pleased and grateful, that I stayed pain-free through the busy month of cook-by-day and party-by-night.

I am happy to see the friends who took time from their block-leave for coffee. I am happy to have time with friends who came through here on their holiday tour of Asia. And I am happy that on the last day of the year, I was with friends and family to see another good year out, and wish for them that the new year will be good to them.

And somewhere in the back of my mind, I am aware that I have not seen or heard from Mother this whole month. And then, as quickly as the thought came to the fore for the moment, it got pushed right back to oblivion.

For this shall remain the month of festive cheer and celebration.

for auld lang syne, my dear

2010-12-31T09:33:00.003+08:00

I've always liked Auld Lang Syne, even if I usually hear it belted out with too much gusto by drunk and tone-deaf people in the wee minutes into the New Year.

This is the beautiful old folk song given the right treatment:)

... for auld lang syne, my friends...

All the tomorrows

2010-12-29T12:45:00.006+08:00

I love our quiet evenings at home, just the two of us. Sharing a simple dinner in our kitchen, just the two of us.Prawn udon with a generous side of vongole on a rainy night.

And just talk to each other, about our life together, the shared history and the days to come.

About the lousy people we know, the good friends we have, the annoying relatives we inherit.

Knowing that after all we have been through in our lives, we can see ourselves through whatever all the tomrrows might bring.

The CB writes back

2010-12-27T19:05:00.005+08:00

I made known to her that I took offense to her thoughtless remark about my picture; I still think I look particularly good in it which is no small feat these days.

True to form, she ignored my peeve. Also true to form, she sends me a Christmas greeting card on which she scribbled these inane words:

How are you? We will be in (home town) for Christmas and New Year. What are your travel plans for 2011? Please write. Love to (me) and (the man).

Say I hold a grudge. Say I am being petty. Say this is the season of goodwill to all mankind.

I don't care.

I tore up the card and dumped every piece and bit of it in the bin.

Dimsum conversation

2010-12-26T14:41:00.002+08:00

After doing all the Christmas food, there is something comforting about sitting down to a lunch of dim sum with friends.

Feeling their excitement as they flesh out plans of their new project in a new place. It is a hare-brained idea, and an oft-traveled road to frustration and heartbreaks. But it is futile to point out the flaws.

And so, keeping my own council, I let them happily paint their perfect picture for me.

I want to remember happy optimistic moments with friends in these last days of the year.

Christmas cheer

2010-12-25T18:50:00.005+08:00

This has been a really beautiful holiday season for me.

So many things went right for so many special people. I was there when it happened - the initial look of disbelief, the gasp of delight dispelling the disbelief, the beginning of tearing in the eyes, then the happiness and wonderment carried in the laughter and crying, the little gift in hand.

I want many more people to have this experience - the joy in the giving and the receiving of a small something that means so much.

It is what this season is all about.

Have a good one, everyone of you.

So this is Christmas

2010-12-24T13:49:00.004+08:00

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

John Lennon, 1968

Macam Boh Sistem (MBS)

2010-12-22T22:46:00.003+08:00

Many people describe this integrated resort in many ways - glamorous, stunning, very h-u-g-e, very luxe, very class. A few mention the confusing long walks to get anywhere within the premises.

I have little to add to the noise. The crew and I were on a recce mission to find places to bring our visitors. This place got struck off the list. The place is too macam boh sistem for me.

I was immediately pissed off that there was no signage to say parking in Towers 1 & 2 are strictly valet park only. Self park is (snort) w-a-y across the other side of the street in Tower 3. I was in no mood to find Tower 3 and was told to leave key in car. Key in car was not moved till I-don't-know-when.

The view in Skypark is spectacular, to say the least.

The 150 metre 3 lane eternity pool is ridiculous. It just looks like a very long longkang.

Differently uniformed people jumping in front of me to stop me from entering sections blocked for private parties, grand openings, special events, whatever, is damned annoying, alright? There are many bars, clubs and restaurants at the Skypark, but not a single outdoor seated bar. We decided there is no need to bring the visitors here.
Getting out of the place is another mess. The taxi stand and valet counter are situated close to each other at the grand front entrance. There is a perpetual long queue at the taxi stand, and no designated spot to wait for private car return. I hated having to run after my car as the valet drove past me to the furthest end of the driveway.

I remembered I could not wait to get away from the place. I know I am not returning to the place of my own volition.

The Perfect Peach Garden

2010-12-22T15:41:00.002+08:00

They are special friends. This is a special visit for them. The friends here want them to remember their first visit to Asia as truly special.

After a week of furious recce of highly reviewed restaurants helmed by Michelin-starred chefs with inflated egos, we settled for the only restaurant worthy of the label "fine dining experience".
A tastefully appointed private dining room at Peach Garden. On the 33rd floor of the bank building where we get a breathtaking view of city lights along the river.

An extremely capable banquet manager worked with us on a customised menu that highlighted the finest of Chinese cuisine. Each dish is given a light touch of exotic Asian garnish that tempted the palate to want to know more of our exotic flavours. Every course individually plated so beautifully that it is a feast for the eyes before it becomes food. Attentive servers who took care of our table efficiently with not so much as a whisper of intrusion on our total enjoyment of this magical place and occasion.

The carefully considered selection of fine wines is a perfect complement to the fine dining.
I dare say this will be an evening that we will remember fondly for a long, long time.

Real value, real gold

2010-12-17T11:26:00.007+08:00

What should someone with spare money lying around do to ensure the money value isn't eroded by inflation over time?

Some suggest buying investment properties. But really, when the market plunges, real estate will not move.

Others suggest stocks and shares, foreign currencies and the like. These are more liquid and can be disposed of in small chunks, but share the same fate as real estate in a financial downturn - you dispose of these assets in small lots at a loss.

There is no such thing as investment diamonds and wines for the simple reason that there isn't an open market to trade in them.

I think the people who buy gold have it right. In times of plenty, the gold they own is jewelry. In times of lean, the gold jewelry is sold for its gold content, which unlike diamonds, have a fixed market price at any given time.

I don't wear much fine jewelry. And there is no point buying jewelry to hoard.

I think it is cool to buy gold bars and use them around the home. The smaller pieces make great paperweights; the chunkier ones are excellent door stops. Heh.

Let them eat foam

2010-12-12T15:28:00.010+08:00

Call me old fashioned, but I like food that looks and tastes like it should. I don't appreciate marriage of respectable cuisines that produce an unrecognisable and indescribable hybrid.

The much talked-about signature dish of foie gras xiao long bao with truffle consomme hiding under a puff of celeraic foam is an insult to sensibilities. Foam belongs on coffee and beer.

The platter filled with unrelated nibble sized sweet somethings described as a "Symphony of Dessert" has several strings missing in the orchestra.

Fancy labels like "Asian cuisine with French influence" does not make the food more palatable.

Enough already with the overpriced lousy dinners and cheap drinks brought to your table by a nervous serving crew whose delivery made me think they flunked out of hospitality training.

It was time I took the eating crew back to basics.

Everyone had a delightful time tucking into a 10-course meal of real Chinese food prepared by real cooks who give a damn to what they are doing.
Let the culinary snobs eat foam recommended by the media whores.

These Cheena types

2010-12-10T17:54:00.004+08:00

There was only a Cheena man in the "priority" line and five bank customers in the general line.

I got behind Cheena. After 15 minutes in the queue, it looked like he was nowhere near finished with his multi transactions and many questions. The teller tending to his long task list was starting to look and sound frazzled.

Then Cheena got on his mobile to speak to (I presume) Mrs Cheena. Then the teller had to explain everything again to voice on the phone.

Cheena turned to me to tell me, in Cheena-ese, that he would be a long while yet, and I should cut into the other line, which now had 10 people in it.

Oh, the nerve of the Cheena!

I said we don't do that in this country; he said he was well-intentioned to let me know he would take a long time; I said if he had any consideration he'd let me get in front of him for my easy 2 minute transaction; he turned away from me to carry on with his 100 Q&A with the teller.

I got behind the 10 people, waited my turn, and when I was done, he still wasn't near finished.

As I walked away from the line, I couldn't stop myself from telling him that I really resented his Cheena types who think nothing of bringing their uncivil practices along with them everywhere.

And we keep importing them by the planeload. Sigh.

(I am aware the bank should have stepped in to mollify the situation, but I was not in the mood to tackle the SOP of the bank.)

This NY's Eve Dinner

2010-12-08T19:49:00.004+08:00

She is a very dear friend.

She and I have a long shared history through the years - first jobs, string of lousy boyfriends, early married life, living abroad, raising husband and children, coming back to Singapore.

Back then, she was a vivacious, fun, funny woman who was delightful to be around and to have around.

These days, she is a slave to husband, two teenage boys, siblings, their spouses and children.

She asked what I'd be doing New Year's Eve. I said I might be invited out, and asked about her plans. She said she's fishing for an invite from me. The sons have parties to go to; she and husband will be on chauffeur duty.

Sigh. She is looking for a place to park herself in between driving the sons all over town all night.

I told her I will be invited out.

She is a very dear friend, and many things I will gladly do for her. But I cannot let her trash my dinner party with my family and friends on New Year's Eve.

Her Love Affair

2010-12-03T18:42:00.005+08:00

I love hearing about love affairs.

So I listened with rapt attentiveness and watched the warm glow cast across her face as she re-lived the high, the rush, the exquisite anticipation of their trysts.

Then, as can be expected of affairs, the lovers were caught out and the illicit relationship came to an abrupt and devastating end.

Her husband demanded a divorce. She was left with no financial support even for their two young children. Her lover returned to his wife hoping to repair their marriage

She managed to get her professional life back on track, and essentially raised the two children by herself. Along the way, she found love again.

And right when the new love proposed marriage, the old lover ended his marriage and came back looking to resume their once-ardent and desperate relationship.

She now has to choose between two very desirable men - the old flame who once filled the void of empty days and loveless nights and the new love who was there in the years when she struggled to put her life back together again.

I didn't know either men; I wouldn't know who I'd marry if I were her.

But choose she did, and I met the husband for the first time last week. I adore him, and I have never seen her happier.

Isn't this a cool love affair story????

Who did she marry? Make your guess before looking up the answer here.

November

2010-12-01T11:02:00.005+08:00

was the month
- I reached my limit of tolerance with inconsiderate and abusive people I've known for a very long time.

- I was still hoping there could be some saving grace. I waited for an apology of sorts from them. None came.

- And so, with some reluctance but no regrets, I closed my heart and mind to them.

- I have moved away. I moved on.

Bad Pennies and Bad People

2010-11-29T20:24:00.002+08:00

Like the proverbial bad penny, they keep showing up.

The old boy of the dread couple from KL sent us an invitation to his 70th birthday in a stuffy country club in Penang, attire "as formally as you like." I suspect many of us are reluctant invitees who still remember vividly how painful his birthday party was the year before. So, as ungracious as it is, many of us declined the invitation. We should feel properly awful that he threw a party and no one came. But we couldn't bear to be tortured again so soon, you understand.

Then I get an email from the screwball woman back in the US telling me how "although we are so very far away, you are very near in my thoughts." She will be "coming to Singapore in February next year for a vacation and hope to be able to see each one of you while I am there." Sigh. I can still hope that she loses all our phone numbers...

You know how the saying goes that bad things come in three's?

I don't think I can deal with her, or her, or them.

I am sure there is no truth whatsoever to the silly saying. It is silly!

Answer to Her Love Affair

2010-11-27T20:27:00.001+08:00

She married the new love; she decided she could not hurt this man who has been so good to her and for her all these years.

I still don't know who I would have chosen. What about you?

I feel good

2010-11-25T18:20:00.005+08:00

I feel good these past weeks. Literally, physically, mentally, I just feel the best I have felt in a very long time.

The aches and pains in my joints have been minimal; some days they are almost absent.

I can actually really dance again. Sadly I will never be able to do dances like Hawaiian hula that demand very deep knee bends and beautifully articulate hand movements. But hey, I can return to Middle Eastern dance which has always been my first love...

My hair has stopped falling out by the handful; in fact I managed to grow my hair long again. The natural curl in my hair is beautiful; so many people have been telling me they love the perm :)

I also just found that I can use eau de toilette! I used to get severe burns from contact with scent in any form.

I know these are small things in the bigger picture of LIFE. But they are the luxuries that make life that much more enjoyable. And I am happy to be acutely aware of them in my waking moments, so that I can be fully appreciative of these good times while I live them.

It is just so good to feel good again.

In the silence

2010-11-22T16:01:00.004+08:00

I don't hear from her in ages. Then she pops up in chat starting to ask how/what I am doing. I am not up to chatting or yakking. I said all is good at my end, and everything about me is updated in FB and blog, and logged out.

She left me a rambling message - something about my being many years younger and do not understand her feelings about things.

I replied reminding her I am all of two years younger. I am not thrilled either about being in my late 50s and if I don't understand her feelings about things, it's because she did not tell me what these things are.

Silence from her since.

In the quiet of silence, I wonder how I can stand to carry on with such so lacking in eruditeness, eloquence and elegance.

And in the quiet of silence, the answer came to me crisp and crystal clear - I cannot.

Drop or Pick up New Friends

2010-11-18T10:26:00.004+08:00

At first the couple looked like they are people to chum around with. Like us, they are not tethered to jobs, half grown kids or elderly ailing parents. Like us, they travel at leisure for leisure and explore novel dining experiences.

Then we find we like them less each time we see them:

They ask intrusive questions like "How long have you two been married?"
They ask intrusive questions like "So how long actually have you two been married?" every time we see them.
They ask intrusive questions of our friends like "How can your friend go build an inn in LiJiang?"
And keep doggedly asking the same questions each time we see them.

We and our friends do not have lives that cannot stand up to scrutiny, but we value discretion and privacy. We do not feel we need to disclose everything; we certainly do not need to answer questions that we consider uncomfortably interrogative in nature.

So we start to pull away from too much involvement with them. We pulled out of going with them on a road trip to Lisboa and exotic Spanish towns. I think we saved ourselves a lot of grief.

So our drop rate for suitable company is higher than our pick up rate. So our recruitment exercise to find travel and dining companions continue.

So what?

A good screw up

2010-11-16T14:55:00.006+08:00

They are a dread couple from KL who blow into town too many times in the year.

The one is a poor excuse of a former BBC correspondence who never made a dint in his time. We are just tired of his braying insults at everything and everybody in Singapore (including us). The other is an insufferable shameless name dropper.

They always look us up to be wined and dined. We sometimes indulge them and end up wanting to kick ourselves for having been duped one more time. At other times, we make up excuses to not see them, like everyone else who have their wits about them.

We made the bad decision this time to take them out to dinner. Then the man's back went out on him and we called off the dinner.

An old schoolmate is in town with her husband whom we've not met. We had arranged for them to come over for dinner the day after we were to see the dread couple. Somehow, the schoolmate messed up the date so we decided we would go ahead and have her and husband over anyway, even if the man is in pain. We spent the better part of the day scrambling to get the home presentable, and put together a dinner of steaks with all the expected trimmings.

It turned out to be one of the best evenings we've had in a long while. We actually liked her husband!

By evening's end, we even agreed to visit and stay at their home in the country sometime soon.

After they left, we looked at each other and smiled. Sometimes, screw ups really work out better than the best laid plans.

I love a good screw up now and then. Heh

Writing to the CB

2010-11-10T10:51:00.004+08:00

She was waiting for me to write her. Why? She wanted to know how we are doing, and how was our recent trip to Bordeaux and Biarritz. I am tired by now to tell her go read my blog.

So I dutifully wrote her, and attached three pictures: this, this and this.

The woman came back with: "That's an interesting pose, and a lovely letter."

That got my ire; I promptly wrote back:

CB, I take offence that my picture is only an interesting pose. Everyone raved about it, and about me. So there.

She's going to come back and ask me what the initials stand for...

Finally, goodbye

2010-11-08T15:57:00.005+08:00

She was a new arrival. She wanted to be plugged in to the social scene to have friends to go places and do fun stuff with. I didn't want to put in the effort because, well, she just wasn't my type (if that was a reason). I introduced her to my friend who I know can lead her into activities and groups. I wanted to get her out of my hair. What was I thinking?

This much I knew:
Husband resigned from his job to take up the posting here.
She resigned from her work to come here with him.
They put up their home for rent.
They gave their family car to their daughter.
They will be here for the next 8 years or more.

Two short months later, the picture perfect plan fell apart. The husband was no longer needed in his job. They have 2 weeks to pack up and pack out at their own expense. They get to stay at the rented apartment till the end of the month, and they would be on their own for the remaining 6 days.

Apparently there was no contract. The husband came out here on the say-so of a former colleague.

Alarm bells went off in my head. What kind of people in their/my age group would quit their established and senior job positions to take up a posting in a new-strange-foreign land with no contract?

The woman was hysterical, hurt and angry. The husband acted like he was defeated and lost. My friend was very sympathetic and I was feeling like a heel for not feeling anything remotely resembling sympathy.

When the dust settled, this was what I knew:

They leave on scheduled date.
They stay at a friend's home for 5 days and check into the Marina Sands on the last 2 days.
He has a job back with the company he left, but at a more junior level.
She will look for a job.
They rent a room from a friend till the tenants finish their lease early next year.
Another friend will lend the husband a pick-up truck so he has transport to get to work.
She wants him to put out feelers and let it be known they want to get back here.

I held my breath till departure day. I haven't heard anything from her. I can safely assume she and husband have left.

I let out a sigh of relief. I hope she loses all our phone numbers. I hope I have seen the last of her.

I will still be open to helping people I've just met. But I will most certainly give them the third degree. And I won't palm them off so quickly to someone else.

Instant new citizens

2010-11-03T11:10:00.004+08:00

Newly minted Singapore citizens. They are many.

Most are not noteworthy. Some warrant a moment of consideration. Others are downright an affront to ethical sensibilities.

Then there are these.

October

2010-11-01T17:53:00.002+08:00

was the month
- I had so many things on my mind that I completely forgot I had tickets for Tango Fire.

- I want to blame the screwball woman who tells me her husband has been let go from his work, and they have to move back to their home country at their own expense. I don't understand how they could have packed up and come here for the husband to take up a job with no contract. She is very upset, I am very suspicious which makes me feel crummy and sorry I ever met her, and getting another friend involved.

- I think of how, elsewhere where I once lived, the weather would have turned decidedly chilly, marking the end of the sunny months.

- I don't feel Halloween here even though there were many Halloween parties over the weekend. I remember elsewhere, when Greta the 7-foot tall witch I made, stood outside my front door. I loved "treating" the little ghosts and goblins who braved walking past Greta to ring my door bell. I detested the big evil looking ghouls who came treat or tricking.

- I feel somewhat sad that another year will soon end.

Night of Bellydancers

2010-10-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

The night is for the bellydancers.

They are students and teachers from Claribel's Raks Sharki Studio.

They are seasoned performers, on-going students and newbies; they danced their best for their fellow dancers, friends and family.

I have said it before, and I say it again - there is something honest and sincere about the dancers who perform on this platform.

And there is a lot to be said about the principal/owner of the dance studio who continues to provide this opportunity for the dancers and their fans.

Night of Chili Crab

2010-10-31T18:36:00.005+08:00

We had planned a Chili Crab night with the friends but it was a long time coming because of busy work/travel/social schedules. Finally, it was D-Day.

It was such a biggie with the guys. A whole week before the date, the man went every day to the crab vendor to check on the supply of fresh crabs. The man's BFF said if there were no crabs at this one location on the day, they will both source from another vendor across the island.

Thankfully, picking up the crabs did not pose a problem. In fact, the crabman helped us select the crabs.

Then the furious cooking among the friends. The final spread - freshly rolled Vietnamese spring roll (not featured in picture), sambal prawns, fried bee hoon, chili crabs. We actually had to struggle to put away some of the cakes came dessert time.

We had a grand time putting the dinner together. But, oh the work!

I think we will let the Chili Crab restaurants do the cooking the next time Crab fever hits.

Doggy love

2010-10-29T11:01:00.006+08:00

A cousin and an uncle lost their pet dogs after a brief period of age-related illness. Understandably, the two men are devastated and in inconsolable mourning.

I wish I could do or say something to make the grief more bearable. I wish they could be more like me and talk about their loss. But no, they are grief stricken, and family members insist that no mention be made of the dogs.

While I respect their wishes, I still think it is too bad that the men and their families take this approach.

My ace dog passed away many years ago. I still tear up when I talk about her. I had dogs after her, and I loved every one of them dearly and cared for them as much. They in turn gave me many happy years of doggy fun and love. But my ace dog is the only one who can walk on water, you see.

The grieving is normal and inevitable. But there are so many good memories to cherish. So, grieve in whatever form it takes, and take however long is necessary.

Just do not shut off the mind and heart to another mutt who is waiting to share his doggy life with you. When you are ready to love again.

The Belly Dance Hip Scarf

2010-10-25T20:50:00.002+08:00

There are many reasons women are attracted to bellydance: the sensuous body movements, the intoxicating music, the middle-eastern environment.

I think it's a lot more basic than that. I think we just love the bellydance costume and all the accessories :)

It all starts with the hip scarf. It is the single item that separates the belly dancer from all other dancers no matter what exercise gear she wears to practice.

So when I noticed the only woman in practice class without a hip scarf, I lent her mine. And I watched with amazement how she kept looking herself in the mirror as she went through the paces, loving how the coins on the hip scarf went dingly-dangly jingly-jangly as she moved.

I don't know why she hasn't gotten herself a hip scarf by now. Maybe it's the money. Maybe she feels she's too old to be wearing something so showy. Whatever.

At the end of practice, I told her to please keep the scarf. She protested. Then she offered to buy it off me.

No, I insisted. I told her I wanted her to have it. That it would make me very happy to see her keep it and enjoy dance with it.

She finally accepted the offer. With the slightest of a shy smile, she said a soft "Thank you". Then she caressed the hip scarf one more time before carefully folding it and tucking it into her bag.

I have to admit I feel darn good seeing how much she loved the hip scarf. I hope she keeps dancing for a long, long time...

When in France...

2010-10-22T21:22:00.005+08:00

I was in France two times - in September a year ago, and again in September that just was.

I remember the beautiful old-world architecture, the strikingly beautiful countryside, the great wining and dining experience. Most of all, I remember the wonderfully hospitable friends and friends of friends who went out of their way to show us the place they call home.

I also remember the surly and resentful treatment I got from the very people whose job it is to provide help and service.

Like the tight-lipped monsieur or madam working the information booths who would not want to give me information;

Like the airline that cancelled my flight for no known reason and their ground crew would offer no alternative transport to my next destination;

Like the VAT refund counter at CDG where there is a perpetual long queue,

and after all documentation are grudgingly vetted and stamped, the angry monsieur/madam points sharply at the mail drop across from them where I am to mail my precious documents,

and I walk up to the mail box measuring all of 30cmX20cmX15cm (12inX8inX6in) and ram my one envelope into the overfilled receptacle, daring it to burst and dump its contents unceremoniously on the floor in protest.

Francophiles try to convince me that the French are not really rude.

They tell me that the French people are reluctant to speak English because they don't think they speak it well enough.

That I must never approach a French person and ask, "Can you speak English please." Instead, I am to say with a sing-song lilt, "Bonjour, mademoiselle/monsieur", followed by "parlez-vous Anglais, s'il vous plait". Did that. Did no good.

That the French are more reserved, and do not respond to strangers with a smile, unlike, say. the gregarious Americans.

The Francophiles miss my point. I am not complaining about the private French citizen. I am griping about people whose job it is to provide information and/or service. I am saying it is almost a matter of national pride and duty for that country to be not nice to visitors.

Then other friends tell me it is all worse in England/Italy/Germany. I readily and easily take their word for it. I am just not interested to rank them ...

Biarritz and the Basque country

2010-10-17T16:04:00.002+08:00

Biarritz on the Basque coast in South Western France was once a small whaling sea town. It became more renowned when Empress Eugenie (wife of Napoleon III) fell in love with the place and built her summer palace La Ville Eugenie (the present day Hotel Du Palais) on the beach.

Today, Biarritz is a popular tourist destination with much to offer: Basque culture and cuisine, beaches, golf, hiking trail, shopping etc.
What I remember most is how strikingly beautiful the place is - a battered coast that meets gentle hills and valleys. White buildings with timber trims painted brown, green, burgundy or navy hug the hill paths, while the majestic peaks of the Pyrenees lie beyond.

Open Road

2010-10-12T19:08:00.005+08:00

Under a perfect autumn sky, the friends took to the open freeway and rode 55 km each way Bordeaux-Arcachon-Bordeaux. Like the heroes they still are:)

If you don't ride you don't know
Where I've been and where I'm going
It's all about the freedom of the open road

It doesn't matter if you are young or old
running with the pack or rolling on your own
It's all about the freedom of the open road

Joe Janiak

The Left Bank

2010-10-11T17:35:00.004+08:00

The river Gironde runs through the Bordeaux wine region, dividing it into two distinct wine producing zones.

The Right Bank is hilly; the chateaux/vineyards are small (between 5 to 10 hectares), and the owner-operator lovingly tends his vineyard like his garden. The composition of the soil is clay-limestone-sand, and the grape of choice is Merlot. The wine comes across delightfully "fruity".

The Left Bank is flat, the chateaux are imposing massive architectural marvels of turrets and spires, the vineyards are 50-80 hectares or more and the owners are big, moneyed families or business. The composition of the soil is largely gravel, and the grape of choice is Cabernet-Sauvignon. The wine is distinctly berry-flavoured.
If one remembers nothing else about the Left Bank, one remembers the Big 5 of the most prestigious names in wine Chateaux: Latour, Lafite-Rothschild, Mouton-Rothschild, Margaux and Haut Brion.

And I was there. Wow...

Saint Emilion and the Right Bank

2010-10-10T21:34:00.002+08:00

Saint-Emilion's fame is due to its wines but also to its historical and cultural inheritance. The walled hilltop village of St. Emilion itself, which has survived almost untouched from the Middle Ages was classified "World Patrimony" in 1999 by the UNESCO.
Ironically, given that St. Emilion can trace its wine-producing heritage all the way back to the Romans and the second century A.D., this village is also on the cutting edge of the push for a more modern style of Bordeaux wine, and the appellation is home to some of the most technically inspired wines in all of Bordeaux.

St. Emilion winegrowers have launched an ambitious, community-based biodiversity project to create miles of interconnected "green" corridors throughout the 20,000-acre region of Bordeaux in a bid for sustainability.

Little wonder that it is one of the most popular destinations in the wine producing regions of France.The attractive medieval village of cobblestone streets and ancient walls has it all - history, heritage and modernity.

Eating in Bordeaux and Biarritz

2010-10-09T22:34:00.002+08:00

Eating is always a priority for any visitor to France - always an experience to re-live and re-hash long after one has left the country.
French food is diverse, and what sets French cuisine apart from other great cuisines is the culture of cooking with what is available locally.

I still remember the food experience from last year. Lyon boasts the most tantalising of sausages; the Rhone valley is famous for its fruit and young vegetables; the world's most exquisite desserts come from Provence and Cote d'Azur.

This time, in Bordeaux and the Basque country of Biarritz, I am in the land of seafood and heavy farm-based foods like pate, terrines, foie gras, confits, magrets.

I love Mephisto Shoes!

2010-10-06T16:02:00.006+08:00

There is a lot of walking in travel. This is especially true of travel in the Old World, where one can expect to walk on miles of cobblestone pavements on hilly terrain.

I cannot bring myself to wear sports shoes for my romps in an urban setting. I would suffer aches in the heel, foot, leg, back, neck before I would commit such a fashion faux pas.

There are many shoes in the market that boast comfort wear. There must be as many varied opinions about what is considered comfortable. I have paid enough in terms of blisters, crushed toes, referred aches and pains, and money to learn which big name shoes do not live up to their advertisement.

Then, on this recent trip, I walked into Mephisto on 19 Rue Voltaire, 33000 Bordeaux.

That day, I walked into a world that knows shoes from overpriced over-rated foot wrappers. That day, my life is transformed. That day, my love for shoes was re-kindled.

That day, I stopped dreading long treks on hilly pavements of cobblestone.